This post started out with cake, but somehow turned into a psychological evaluation…as always…

My cousin Emily came in town with her family this past Sunday.

This cousin is not just ANY cousin.  She is My Em.  We are the same age (6 months apart) and grew up together.  If there is anything as close as siblings, but not biologically so it would be us.    Growing up she was always better at everything than me (or as least more confidant about it).

She was a diligent student and made good grades.  I hated school and begged my mom to homeschool me. She seemed to always be driven and I was just a pile of goo with no “plan”.  We took dancing together from toddlers through high school.  We’re not sure what happened but with all of those dance lessons neither of us can dance.  We went to different high schools (distance was good for us) and then our lives took different paths.  She went to college and I became a caregiver.  She went for a degree.  I started school not knowing what I wanted to do and had to drop out and was led to take care of my family.  She got married (to an Air Force man), worked and got her master’s, and FINALLY had her babies.  I remained a caregiver.

She was always more social than me and able to adapt quickly.  She always seemed to make friends easily wherever she went.  I’m more of a one person at a time kind of gal and had one best friend growing up.  That was fine by me.  She could pack up and go at any time.  I was a homebody and either played with my cousins, visited my one best friend, or just wanted to be with my mom.

Since she always was more social she always seemed more stable than me.  She could adjust to things a lot easier.  She was more sensitive, but could always just deal with things and move on.  I was always anxious and hesitant. Now that I am older and have taken and sent her a personality test this makes perfect sense.  She is a ‘P’ and I am a ‘J’.  🙂

Even though we went our separate ways whenever we get together nothing changed and it was as if we shared a brain.  (We still finish each other’s sentences…shout out quotes from The Office and run with it…)

When she came in town this last week we went for a run together.  She laughed and mentioned it was the first time in our lives we ran together.  We had never been on the same fitness level.  However, she has gotten super fit and I have gotten lazy.  I told her to go ahead because I wouldn’t be able to keep up.  That didn’t last long…I saw her down the street and had to run FASTER…duh…I didn’t want her getting lost in the neighborhood…:P .  On our way home I ended up telling her when I was a caregiver I turned to running and fitness because I felt mentally unstable (that’s a whole new blog post) and it was the one thing I could control.  She agreed since motherhood started.  So, our lives seemed to finally catch up in a way. 🙂

I told her how good it is she can talk about her feelings and emotions to people. I hold everything in and end up doing crazy things like take random solo trips (If you need a blog recap: Ireland…Grand Canyon…). What’s normal anyway?

“My life is spiraling out of control, but I’m going to run this mile in X amount of time and nobody’s gonna stop me!”..cue maniacal laughter…

We’ve had hawks in our neighborhood and on our way home I saw a bird in my neighbor’s yard.
“Wait, that’s two birds…?”
“What are they doing?…Is it missing its head?!?”
“Is that one signaling for help??”

Emily took a step toward it and LIKE A SAVAGE the bird took off with the other (HEADLESS!!) bird in its mouth!!  I was appalled…Emily handled it like it was the circle of life and normal??  I guess that’s what happens when you have a 3 year old and 1 year old…less things phase you.  I mean, I wanted to find its head…

Moving on…(somehow…)

She’s one of the best moms in the whole wide world.  I mean, she’s just incredible.  While she always wanted to be a mom it’s almost like God said, “How bad did you want it?” and gave her Miss Ev.  She’s got serious fierce leadership skills and has brown ringlet curls, wide brown eyes, and dimples.  There’s a lot of love in that spicy heart.  She just hasn’t quite figured out how to balance it out yet.  Mr. Emmett is pale like his mom and has light hair and is as laid back as can be.  Give him some food and his Mom and he is the happiest person in the world.  It’s so funny how two little people from the same parents can be so polar opposite.  I don’t know how she does it!

I think Ev is a woman^1,000,000.  One second she’s laughing and the next, for what appears no reason at all, she’s turned 180 degrees and freaking out.  I like to think she’s a woman on crack.  She is really good for putting things into perspective because it makes me realize “Girl, what are you freaking out about??”

Via FaceTime a few weeks ago Ev and I agreed to bake together when she got here.  No cookies.  She didn’t know what kind of cake she wanted, but it was clear no cookies were to be made. 🙂

“TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO: AND WHEN HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.” – PROVERBS 22:6

My aunt asked Ev if she had Jesus in her heart.  Depending on if she wanted to behave or not was her answer, I think.  The first time was ‘yes’ and a little while later it was ‘no’.  One time Jesus was ‘in the kitchen’.  We realized He was there because that’s where Emily and Derek had their nativity set.  Too funny.

Last year when they had come in town “Good, Good Father” had come on the radio on the way to the aquarium.  After the song ended Evelyn wanted it to play again.
“Who I am! Who I am!”
“I like that song, too, Ev!”
So I looked it up on my phone and we all sang together.

This time I played it right before bedtime.  Only when I looked it up and it started playing she wanted Ariel.

“What?  But, you like this song…?”
“Ariel…”

I pretended like I didn’t hear her and played the song nervous about a potential breakdown.  But she wanted me to hold her and Emily, my Aunt, Ev, and me all sang it together.  Be still my heart!

Their visit was coming to an end and Ev and me still had not baked anything!  Emily’s sister in law texted Emily’s husband and asked if I’d make a cake for her little boy’s birthday.  I don’t know if it was a joke or not, but my brain was rapidly spinning and freaking out because it was 4:30 in the afternoon, they were about to leave to go to dinner, and I have to go to bed before sundown because I get up so early for work.

“Wait! Let’s figure this out!”

I hurried up and came up with a cake plan: Chocolate with almond icing.  I had all of the ingredients.  Ok. Crisis averted.

PLUS! I figured I could keep my promise and have some fun with Ev!

“Ev!  Do you want to bake a cake with me?”
“No.”

What?

I missed that window of opportunity, didn’t I?

I made a 6 inch chocolate cake and a few spare cupcakes to go with it.
Happy Birthday, Buddy!

They left the next morning to see her sister in law and then were heading back home.  It’s so easy to miss them already.  The house is so quiet without them.

Their visit made me realize how much more do you think God thinks the same of us?  He says to have faith like a child.  As much as Emily loves her children and would do anything for them how much more does our Heavenly love us?  When she tells Evelyn not to climb on the table it’s not because she hates her.  She’s looking out for her safety.  When she climbs on the table there is a consequence for not listening so she learns not to do that again.  But, like adults they don’t always listen the first time and there is a bigger consequence.  When she can’t have a snack yet it’s not because she doesn’t want her to enjoy it but because she knows the feast that is to come and that it is healthier and better for her.

Sometimes, God leaves us alone waiting for us to cry out to Him because we are so hard headed.  “Ok, if that’s what you want.  Go for it.  I’ll be back here waiting.”

How many tantrums do we throw when we don’t get what we want?  I know I’ve thrown a few.  “This is it! This is it!  This is what I want!”  We get so focused on the circumstance and seeing the one thing in front of us.  Trust.  Obedience.  God’s way and timing is so much better.