“YE ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. A CITY THAT IS SET ON AN HILL CANNOT BE HID.
NEITHER DO MEN LIGHT A CANDLE, AND PUT IT UNDER A BUSHEL, BUT ON A CANDLESTICK; AND IT GIVETH LIGHT UNTO ALL THAT ARE IN THE HOUSE.
LET YOUR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE MEN, THAT THEY MAY SEE YOUR GOOD WORKS, AND GLORIFY YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN.” – MATTHEW 5:14-16

Surrender.

The last few months I’ve taken my eyes off of where God is leading me and decided to stress about my circumstances. It’s not a very productive thing to do and it hasn’t enhanced my life much except animate it in a negative way. Stress was digging in and the only way I could explain it was telling a friend it felt like I was at the Red Sea that hasn’t parted yet and I see pharaoh coming.

The more I fought it the closer I was to being backed in a corner and nothing was changing.

Still, I read my bible and prayed even though at times I thought it was for nothing and felt like God forgot me.

The last couple of weeks it has been heavy on my heart to read Matthew 5-6. I have read them front to back and back to front so many times but not knowing why.

The last few months I felt like I was in a battle but it was literally with nobody and was like “God, why? What is happening and why am I a lunatic?”

The last few weeks several situations arose where I was ready and prepared to fight. I was so stressed out that nobody anywhere was going to take advantage of me. When the actual events unfolded and I was ready to lash out and take matters into my own hands God said, “drop your (metaphorical) weapon”…. and they unfolded in such peaceful, miraculous ways I could only sit dumbfounded for an hour. Where was the war? This wasn’t how it was supposed to go? I had it all thought out of every angle of how I would handle it. I wanted to stand up for myself.

But, I didn’t have to. God fought for me.

God is so good to me when I don’t deserve it. I don’t know why He extends such grace to me, but it’s when you’ve given up and have nowhere to go that he rushes in.

Jesus has transformed my life. My life started 4 years ago and I can never be the same.

“FOR WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES, AGAINST POWERS, AGAINST THE RULERS OF THE DARKNESS OF THIS WORLD, AGAINST SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS IN HIGH PLACES.

WHEREFORE TAKE UNTO YOU THE WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD, THAT YE MAY BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND IN THE EVIL DAY, AND HAVING DONE ALL, TO STAND.

STAND THEREFORE, HAVING YOUR LOINS GIRT ABOUT WITH TRUTH, AND HAVING ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS; AND YOUR FEET SHOD WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; ABOVE ALL, TAKING THE SHIELD OF FAITH, WHEREWITH YE SHALL BE ABLE TO QUENCH ALL THE FIERY DARTS OF THE WICKED.

AND TAKE THE HELMET OF SALVATION, AND THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, WHICH IS THE WORD OF GOD: PRAYING ALWAYS WITH ALL PRAYER AND SUPPLICATION IN THE SPIRIT, AND WATCHING THEREUNTO WITH ALL PERSEVERANCE AND SUPPLICATION FOR ALL SAINTS;

AND FOR ME, THAT UTTERANCE MAY BE GIVEN UNTO ME, THAT I MAY OPEN MY MOUTH BOLDLY, TO MAKE KNOWN THE MYSTERY OF THE GOSPEL, FOR WHICH I AM AN AMBASSADOR IN BONDS: THAT THEREIN I MAY SPEAK BOLDLY, AS I OUGHT TO SPEAK.” – EPHESIANS 6:12-20