Life isn’t as hard as anxiety makes it.  It should be as easy as blueberry cake.

And then there’s the flesh saying otherwise…

You have purpose.  I have purpose.  God didn’t bring you nor I this far to leave you stranded.

It’s so much easier to complain than it is to count the blessings God has given me.  I’m speaking in the first person today because this is directly for me…

Count it all joy, Aimee.

Count it all joy.  Let go of the world, Aimee.  Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  God called you His own and rescued your heart and wants all of you.  He knew who you were and what you would struggle with before you were born.  What more could you want?  He called you out of darkness into the light.

“When I’m desperate and my hearts overcome all that I need you’ve already done.
Help me want the Healer more than the healing…
Help me want the Savior more than the saving…
Help me want the Giver more than the giving…
Oh, help me want you Jesus more than anything.” – Natalie Grant-More than Anything

I don’t know what I would do without Godly friends.  It would be so easy to take the world’s advice wouldn’t it?  When we are desperate for a change and the world doesn’t understand seasons it would be so easy to give up and do what we want.

We don’t understand the season we are in sometimes.

We don’t understand the waiting.

“IF ANY OF YOU LACK WISDOM, LET HIM ASK OF GOD, THAT GIVETH TO ALL MEN LIBERALLY, AND UPBRAIDETH NOT; AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN HIM.  BUT LET HIM ASK IN FAITH, NOTHING WAVERING. FOR HE THAT WAVERETH IS LIKE A WAVE OF THE SEA DRIVEN WITH THE WIND AND TOSSED.

FOR LET NOT THAT MAN THINK THAT HE SHALL RECEIVE ANY THING OF THE LORD.  A DOUBLE MINDED MAN IS UNSTABLE IN ALL HIS WAYS.” – JAMES 1:5-8

I know He has plans for me.  I know He has a future for me.  I know that His ways are not my own and they are much greater than I can imagine.  But, I’m missing peace because I’m so focused on the now.  I’m so focused on the things I want that never seem to arrive aside from all the praying and all the crying and all the waiting… He hears them all and one day they will all make sense and forgotten.

I am Peter asking to walk on the water with Him and when He allows it I think back to human reasoning and how insane this moment is.

“WHAT THE HECK!  I CAN’T DO THIS?!?”

Trust Him.  Keep my eyes focused on Him and failure can’t be an option.  Stop looking left and right, but continue staring straight at His face.  Don’t listen to everyone on the sidelines who didn’t ask to walk on water who are stating the obvious that I can’t walk on water.  I need a raft.  I’m going to fall.  I can’t do this.  Enough with that!

They’re trying to help, but they weren’t called to this.  I was.

My Savior is holding my hand and holding me up.  It’s not by my strength, but His own.  His grace is sufficient for me.  Steady your heart.

He has heard all of my pleas and all of my prayers.  He has shown up and shown grace when I least deserved it.  He has literally shut my mouth to not allow my flesh to allow me to get in trouble.  He has shown so much mercy and yet I panic and think He has forgotten me and I get paralyzed with fear.

“WHEREFORE SEEING WE ALSO ARE COMPASSED ABOUT WITH SO GREAT A CLOUD OF WITNESSES, LET US LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT, AND THE SIN WHICH DOTH SO EASILY BESET US, AND LET US RUN WITH PATIENCE THE RACE THAT IS SET BEFORE US…” – HEBREWS 12:1

A year ago I wrote this article:
Enjoying the ride…

It seems I have forgotten how to enjoy it.

What if I got it all wrong?  What if where I thought He was leading me was me?  What if I took myself out here and He forgot me?

I’ve listened to the book of James four times so far this morning.

Be patient and not double minded.

You either believe God is who He says He is or you don’t.

You’re either trusting the creator of the world with everything you have or you’re not.

He doesn’t want a half heart.  He’s not looking for fans…He’s looking for followers.

Ye are the light of the world.

That means me.  He chose me and I chose Him.  This is it.  This is love.

I will go where he sends me trusting He won’t leave me in the middle of the ocean to sink and get tired and drown.

He is ever faithful.

“WHEREFORE, MY BELOVED BRETHREN, LET EVERY MAN BE SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, SLOW TO WRATH: FOR THE WRATH OF MAN WORKETH NOT THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD. WHEREFORE LAY APART ALL FILTHINESS AND SUPERFLUITY OF NAUGHTINESS, AND RECEIVE WITH MEEKNESS THE ENGRAFTED WORD, WHICH IS ABLE TO SAVE YOUR SOULS. BUT BE YE DOERS OF THE WORD, AND NOT HEARERS ONLY, DECEIVING YOUR OWN SELVES. FOR IF ANY BE A HEARER OF THE WORD, AND NOT A DOER, HE IS LIKE UNTO A MAN BEHOLDING HIS NATURAL FACE IN A GLASS: FOR HE BEHOLDETH HIMSELF, AND GOETH HIS WAY, AND STRAIGHTWAY FORGETTETH WHAT MANNER OF MAN HE WAS. BUT WHOSO LOOKETH INTO THE PERFECT LAW OF LIBERTY, AND CONTINUETH THEREIN, HE BEING NOT A FORGETFUL HEARER, BUT A DOER OF THE WORK, THIS MAN SHALL BE BLESSED IN HIS DEED.”
-JAMES 1:19-25

“BE PATIENT THEREFORE, BRETHREN, UNTO THE COMING OF THE LORD. BEHOLD, THE HUSBANDMAN WAITETH FOR THE PRECIOUS FRUIT OF THE EARTH, AND HATH LONG PATIENCE FOR IT, UNTIL HE RECEIVE THE EARLY AND LATTER RAIN.
BE YE ALSO PATIENT; STABLISH YOUR HEARTS: FOR THE COMING OF THE LORD DRAWETH NIGH. GRUDGE NOT ONE AGAINST ANOTHER, BRETHREN, LEST YE BE CONDEMNED: BEHOLD, THE JUDGE STANDETH BEFORE THE DOOR. TAKE, MY BRETHREN, THE PROPHETS, WHO HAVE SPOKEN IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, FOR AN EXAMPLE OF SUFFERING AFFLICTION, AND OF PATIENCE.
BEHOLD, WE COUNT THEM HAPPY WHICH ENDURE. YE HAVE HEARD OF THE PATIENCE OF JOB, AND HAVE SEEN THE END OF THE LORD; THAT THE LORD IS VERY PITIFUL, AND OF TENDER MERCY.” – JAMES 5:7-11