I am back in my favorite place with two of my favorite humans: Colorado with my dad and his best friend.

Matthew 10: When only God can restore your relationship with your dad.

We caught the bus to Breckinridge to have lunch at C.B & Potts.  It’s been nothing but gorgeous this week and today is one of the prettiest days I’ve ever seen.  As we were waiting to order our food I shared out-loud a random thought: I am so thankful God did not give me what I wanted most.  If I had gotten what I thought I wanted and stressed so much to have I wouldn’t have appreciated spending all this time with these two godly men nor would I have ever tried a peanut butter and jelly hamburger 😂.  (I mean, when would I get that opportunity again?).  I wouldn’t have gotten to come to Colorado (my happy place) twice in two months.  I wouldn’t appreciate all the things God has done in my life recently.  I wouldn’t be thankful for all the little things God has provided for me in only His way.  I would’ve missed out on so much joy focusing on the things I didn’t have.

It’s in the waiting that God is there saying ‘Choose Me.  Come with Me.  Spend time with me and let Me take care of you.  I want to show you all that I have for you, but I can’t until you let go of your own plans.”

God saw the end of my situation into the next season.  He saw my struggle and heard my (what seemed like never ending) pleading.  I’m sure He sat there saying, “I heard you the first time just as loud as the 3,000,000th time.” Or “If she only knew what was on the other side of this…” and “She’ll be alright.”

His ways are higher and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.

Thankfully, God doesn’t give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.  And what we need is Him.  That’s it.  He is the beginning and He is the end.  He is the first and He is the last.  He is in every detail and doesn’t miss a thing.

I got to share my testimony with my dad’s friend and share all kinds of ways God showed up in my life.  I got to tell him how much God has worked in my life and how I “didn’t need anybody because nobody was there for me”.  I only needed God.  I wouldn’t accept anything from anybody either because I wasn’t going to owe anyone anything and I was never going to let anyone hang something over my head.  No, I didn’t need anyone’s help.  They weren’t there before and I didn’t need anyone now.  It’s been five years of prayer and God softening my heart.  Last November He answered me and delivered me from bitterness and I am so free.

I told him about the time I stormed out the house to go for a night drive.  My heart was filled with pride and anger.  “I don’t need anyone”.  My car started making noise on top of the bridge.  “That’s my car?….!  Please, just get me off the bridge.”

My car lost power because we found out the timing belts fell off.  God heard my prayer and I not only coasted off the bridge but made the turn off the exit and into a Wendy’s parking lot spot.  I had to make a decision.  I made such a big deal about being on my own and not needing anyone I could either sleep in the parking lot on St. Charles Ave. in New Orleans and possibly get mugged or I could humble myself and call my dad.

My trusty dad came to my rescue (of course) and the tow truck guy didn’t charge me full price for the tow.

Then, since I still didn’t need anyone God took my car from me.  Yes, I believe He Took my car.  It was right in the middle of what would be one of the toughest times of my life. You have to want Him more than… But You know what?  My dad works from home in the middle of the night and brings me to work at 4:45 am every morning.  I could only laugh while telling these stories.

Do you not think God is so gracious to me?  And for what reason?

“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

I told him of why I went on those solo trips and how they were between me and God.  Now that I have more understanding and have read His word I know that is not wise and I am sure I wouldn’t do that again.  But, at the time I was totally dependent on Him to take care of me and protect me.  I explained Ireland and the Grand Canyon.  Then, I remember when I was to go to Montana I heard he and my dad on the phone.  I never had peace over the trip but was going anyway.  The night before I had called a friend to pray with me and as he prayed my peace was to NOT go.  Nevertheless I pressed on.  “I can always go and then not leave the airport.”

The morning I was to leave I get a text my flight got delayed due to mechanical reasons.  I took that as a sign.  Then, when I went to check something else the part of Glacier National Park I was going to visit was on fire.

“I hear You.”

I texted my coworker that I didn’t have peace and she said she knew I didn’t and to do what God said and that was my confirmation to not go.

Of all things I had the thought “I need to go see Emily.”  Her dad booked a flight for me and I was at her house that night.  My text was “Don’t worry about cleaning your house.  I don’t care.  I’ll see you later.” Or something like that.

They were completely confused about me being at their house.  “You came here instead of Montana??”.  How do you explain to someone that God sent you there?  How would you begin to tell someone all the things God was doing in your life and how this was Him stopping you from running?  How would you say God has your destination on fire and your plane had mechanical issues and the simplest thing to do was to visit the person you were closest to and it was such a big deal to the heart God was transforming and she was the beginning of the healing process?  How would you explain it was such a little thing, but also the biggest?

As a child of God we aren’t meant to live in bitterness and in a shell.  We love Him because He first loved us.  He has broken down the walls of my heart and inch by inch taught me how to love others like Him.  How many times has He forgiven me?  What did I do to deserve it?  How many times have I run from Him?  How many times has He called me and waited for me to come Home?  I can’t remember all of them.  Every time is a lesson learned and my faith gets stronger.

”Forget the former things.  Behold I will do a new thing.  Do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”