(This was started months ago. I don’t know why I’m keeping the beginning except #reallife 😛 )
This is a Christian blog (or so it turned out to be 😀) so there is a lot of thinking and praying involved in this particular post because the thoughts beforehand involve a lot of mental yelling and refinement.
My current state is eating Oreos and watching hallmark… and listening to Wilson Philipps Hold On. Putting all of that together makes it that much more hysterical.
(^^^I don’t know when that was written, but it sounds like a good time and am sure a former blog post came out of it. Ha!!!^^^)
“How can I say this in a fruitful way and my flesh doesn’t take over?”
What does God say about settling down? I don’t think He mentions settling down. If you have a relationship with Him you find peace and rest, but not once have I ever thought “I’m bored. I think I’ll settle down now”. (This in no way implies being against getting settled as in waiting to finish school or getting a stable job to be able to provide for your family, but it does not mean to play husband or wife if you are not actually married. However, as a Christian God is our provision and He makes a way where there is no way and our plans are not always His ways… so have fun with your planning or excuse for not getting married.)
“HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING, AND OBTAINS FAVOR FROM THE LORD.” – PROVERBS 18:22
I think this verse is pretty straight forward. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. In order for a man to find that good thing and favor from the Lord he must have a relationship with Him and chasing after the things of God. A wife is a good thing as it was ordered from the beginning in Genesis. A wife is to be a blessing to her husband as God created a woman (from a man’s rib) to be a helpmate for the man.
How does a man find his wife? How does a woman know he is her husband? How do you know what to look for if you don’t know what God said? How do you know what God said if you don’t read His word? Study His word and pray for wisdom and discernment over situations and he’ll give you peace. It’s all really simple, but we like to make it complicated because we don’t like the answers like “Not that one”…”Nope.”…”Stop it.”…”Do not pass Go…”. Proverb 31, 1 Timothy, Ephesians 5, Titus, and 1 Corinthians 7 all have great qualities/instructions on what Christians are to look for in a spouse. If you’re not interested in what the bible has to say about choosing a spouse ‘good luck in your future endeavors’. 🙂
The most important thing you can do in your search for a spouse is to make sure you are equally yoked. The most disastrous thing you could do is be unequally yoked. You are choosing who you will spend the rest of your life with. You are choosing the potential parent of your children and how they will shape their minds. It’s one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make although American society is good at throwing things away and getting something new at the first sign of conflict and unhappiness.
“BE YE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER WITH UNBELIEVERS: FOR WHAT FELLOWSHIP HATH RIGHTEOUSNESS WITH UNRIGHTEOUSNESS? AND WHAT COMMUNION HATH LIGHT WITH DARKNESS?” – 2 CORINTHIANS 6:14
The first thing to ask on a date is if they love Jesus more than they breathe and if the answer is no or look at you like you’re insane you know to end it there. You’re welcome.
Saying no to a second date is really not a problem if you want what God wants more than you want for yourself. If you wanted to stress yourself out you could go out several times in hopes of converting them, but if that’s not what God said to do you must be obedient and walk away. It’s not your battle and God is the author of peace and not confusion. I’m not really into playing the dating game which explains why I’m still single 😛 . This does not mean I’ve given up it just means I’ve learned that the God of the bible is the same God I serve today. The stories from years and years ago are just as relevant today. Nobody in the bible stressed looking for their spouse… they were brought together by God at appointed times.
In the bible when a man spotted his wife it was sudden. He knew her when he saw her. Most were probably arranged marriages, but think of Ruth and Boaz… Isaac and Rebecca… Hosea and Gomer (that may not be the most romantic story to choose, but then it is…) …Jacob and Rachel (I mean even after the Leah fiasco) …
I do not recall reading in the bible where a man and woman went to dinner and the guy stated he was looking to settle down. (The following text does not apply to every person or situation. I am aware of life circumstances.)
With that said, this post is referring to the unrepentant. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and this post isn’t to condemn anyone. It’s speaking of those who believe they are God’s gift to the human race. The world has it so backwards and women are now in men’s rolls because men wouldn’t stand up to take care of their families. If you call yourself a Christian and are a husband/father who doesn’t take care of your family God says you are worse than an infidel. (If you read this and are offended don’t shoot the messenger… go spend some time with God and ask Him and then go talk to your wife…)
In the modern dating world when someone tells someone they’re looking to settle down they are saying they’ve sown their wild oats and have done all they can in their time of singleness and in their time of life crisis realize their life is passing them by and should probably get a spouse and have children to catch up with their friends. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming they mean.
“I’m looking to settle down…”
Well don’t I feel special? You’ve had all the fun you can before meeting me and I seem like a person you could get along with so what a treat it is that I could be the one you choose to ‘settle down’ with. I’m so thankful I waited my whole life just so you could be stressed to make up for lost time and think it appropriate to now find time for the responsibility you never wanted. I am so relieved you chose me for that position.
God didn’t save me from despair or give me a brand new life to ‘settle’ for anything. I’ve been given a new life with a hope and peace and it’s only the beginning. I’m not interested in settling for anything, but reaching for the best of what God has for me. This means there’s a lot of waiting. It does not mean missing out or waiting for what could be better… it’s waiting for God’s best.
On the flip side I do understand making the most of a single season and not laying on the sofa watching tv “waiting for the one” to fall through the roof. I do believe my future husband can land on my roof if God wills it, but I don’t think when he does he would expect me to not have developed skills or drawn closer to God or finding the life He has for me to walk along with. I don’t think “waiting on God” means doing nothing. We are supposed to be actively waiting as in seek/develop our God given gifts and talents and go where He leads us to use them. It’s living the life God has for you by preparing you for what is ahead, but you can’t find where you’re supposed to be if you’re laying on the sofa crying while eating Oreos and watching Hallmark movies and wondering “why not me”. (Excuse me while I laugh out loud and say ‘don’t judge … you’ve been there too’… 😜). I’m not sure that would be what my future husband is praying for.
“Hey Honey …”
I prayed for God to make a me a wife and am praying for a man who is being developed into a husband. A husband is not just a title and not everyone is meant to be one. A ring or dress doesn’t make me a wife. Characters are shaped into the roles God set up and we are to be a husband or wife before ever meeting your spouse.
I’m not looking to get married out of pure loneliness or simply because I want to be.
I want to be married with a man who prayed for me. I want to be married because God had that in HIS plans for me and has shaped me into the woman able to be with the man I prayed for and able to walk into the life God has for us.
I don’t plan on marrying someone simply because they are “ready to settle down”.
I’m looking to step into the life God has for me and it begins in preparing myself now. It’s learning how to pray for others. It’s developing relationships with people. It’s continuing to learn who I am in Christ and being guided on the path He wants for me. It’s developing the character of a wife long before I meet my future husband. ❤
(…And to my future husband please don’t think about ‘settling down’. My God is too powerful to let you ‘settle’ for a counterfeit and can break off anything that gets in the way. I’ve prayed too hard for you and waited too long to think God is not up to something. While God is working on me he’s working on you too so don’t you dare think of giving up. Keep drawing near to God. I’ll be here writing blogs on how I’m praying for you. ❤ )
Hey… you were warned in the beginning about my Hallmark life 🙂
When God shows you how to wait for your Boaz…
I have (almost) found the One my soul loves…
Love means always saying you’re sorry…
What if being single wasn’t a disease?
Beloved Oath of God 
A very good article but to say that the only way to obtain Jehovahs favour is to get married is very wrong. “A man who finds a wife obtains favor from the Lord. ”
It states in the New Testament that there are some who are eunuchs to better serve the Lord. I am one of them and have obtained a lot of the Lords favour in our walk together over the past few decades.
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You are correct and I this post in no way implies we are supposed to be married. Paul makes it very clear that it is better to be single because we have more freedom to go where God calls us with less responsibility of a family. I appreciate your comment and clearing it up. 🙂
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Also, the context I had were for those who are getting married and based off a few experiences I had with people talking about settling down. I guess I didn’t explain the other side, but in no way did I mean God doesn’t grant favor to people who aren’t married or looking to do so.
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