I have this habit of praying and then wondering why all of a sudden am struggling.

“TAKE AWAY THE DROSS FROM THE SILVER, AND THERE SHALL COME FORTH A VESSEL FOR THE FINER.” – PROVERB 25:4

Sanctification is a lifelong journey.

There is an unknown in my life and it’s rapidly approaching.  I already became content with the fact that God had me planted because He had things to show me.  This chapter was not complete.

“Brace for impact…”

However, it seems that I am seeing it in live action and since I’m still a human being have concerns.  But, it’s not my job to worry.  It’s my job to know who my God is and Who I chose to follow and trust and believe He is going to take care of me.

Jehovah Jireh – “The Lord will provide”

He provides in this life and the next.  He is ALL.

God has dealt with me this weekend on some things because when my brain gets going it doesn’t stop so why not worry about EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN RIGHT NOW.  When we are sincere in our prayers He answers us and ‘just like that’ God whispered the answer to my heart and my heart cried out.  Fear.  It’s the root of my problems.  As much as God delivered me from fear I still have a ways to go and it will be a lifetime journey.  Unbelief.  If I truly believed God is Who He says He is then I wouldn’t fear.  Control.  If I looked ahead and tried to dodge this or protect myself from that then I would never have a problem.  As a Christian we have surrendered control.  We have handed our life over to the Creator of the Universe and He can do whatever He wants with it.  The good news is everything works out for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28) so we still do not have a good reason to worry.

‘You receive not because you ask amiss’.  If you want to follow Jesus because of the things He can give you then you don’t want Him you want the gifts.  I shouldn’t be afraid or fear anything.  I do not lack anything.  These lies are flaring up, but I do not have to believe them.  I see them for what they are: LIES and have learned to control my thoughts and take each one captive in obedience to Christ.  The good in it is exposing my weaknesses and need for Him.  He wants us to cling to Him.

HE is my security.
HE is my provision.
HE should be my everything.
HE is Who ALWAYS takes care of me.
HE is who knows my every need before I ever ask.
HE is who knows the number of hairs on my head.
HE is IT.
HE holds my life.
HE holds my future.
HE holds my eternity.

What could I possibly be in need of??  I mean, He gave me chocolate!

After this exchange two worship songs played in a row that were answers to me.  I was just thankful a cop didn’t pull me over.  Although that would’ve been interesting because “ugly crying” doesn’t scratch the surface.  ha

“Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over?”
::loud sobs and sniffling:: “I was praying and God answered me.”

Matthew West: ‘The God Who Stays’ & Hillsong Worship: ‘Who You say I am’

“I SOUGHT THE LORD AND HE HEARD ME AND DELIVERED ME FROM ALL MY FEARS.” – PSALM 34:4

When I got home I locked myself in my room and read Matthew 5-6 out loud.  When I hit chapter 6 verse 25 the tears just streamed down my face and I could hardly get the words out:

“THEREFORE I SAY UNTO YOU, TAKE NO THOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE, WHAT YE SHALL EAT, OR WHAT YE SHALL DRINK; NOR YET FOR YOUR BODY, WHAT YE SHALL PUT ON. IS NOT THE LIFE MORE THAN MEAT, AND THE BODY THAN RAIMENT?  BEHOLD THE FOWLS OF THE AIR: FOR THEY SOW NOT, NEITHER DO THEY REAP, NOR GATHER INTO BARNS; YET YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER FEEDETH THEM. ARE YE NOT MUCH BETTER THAN THEY?” – MATTHEW 6:25-26

This morning I went to the gym and decided to do some lunges.  (Stick with me for a second… 🙂 )  I added weights and made it one way down the hall.  I turned around and looked at the end and thought, “Uhhhhh!  There’s no way I’m going to make it all the way back.” and with that thought rushed in ‘Why are you looking ahead?  Don’t look at how far you have to go.  Focus on right now.  Don’t look down the hall or think ahead.”

If I had focused on the long hall (pun not intended 😛 )I would’ve panicked.  It would have taken me so much longer because I would have kept dwelling on the ‘I can’ts’.  Or, I would’ve convinced myself my legs hurt too much and had given up because I already told myself it’s over.

So, instead… I looked at the floor right in front of me and just kept lunging.  I did not look up.  I kept my eyes on the ‘right here right now’ and took it one step at a time.

…And I made it all the way down that hall.

It’s easy to read God’s word, but we need to apply it.

“BUT SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS; AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.  TAKE THEREFORE NO THOUGHT FOR THE MORROW: FOR THE MORROW SHALL TAKE THOUGHT FOR THE THINGS OF ITSELF. SUFFICIENT UNTO THE DAY IS THE EVIL THEREOF.”
– MATTHEW 6:33-34