Before I started typing this post as a joke I googled “5 year wedding gifts”:
According to The Knot ‘The traditional five-year anniversary gift is wood. That said, it’s not your only option. The modern five-year anniversary gift is silverware—and there are plenty of options to choose from today (including trendy rose gold sets).’

“FOR THOU, O GOD, HAST PROVED US: THOU HAST TRIED US, AS SILVER IS TRIED.” – PSALM 66:10

Refine:

1. (v. t.) To reduce to a fine, unmixed, or pure state; to free from impurities; to free from dross or alloy; to separate from extraneous matter; to purify; to defecate; as, to refine gold or silver; to refine iron; to refine wine or sugar.

2. (v. t.) To purify from what is gross, coarse, vulgar, inelegant, low, and the like; to make elegant or excellent; to polish; as, to refine the manners, the language, the style, the taste, the intellect, or the moral feelings.

3. (v. i.) To become pure; to be cleared of feculent matter.

4. (v. i.) To improve in accuracy, delicacy, or excellence.

5. (v. i.) To affect nicety or subtlety in thought or language.

He refines me like silver and was hung on a wooden cross for me.

I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around this time of year I got saved.  I’ll never forget it.  The year before (2013) in March, I think, I was all out of hope and didn’t know how I would finish the year.

“I SOUGHT THE LORD, AND HE HEARD ME, AND DELIVERED ME FROM ALL MY FEARS.” – PSALM 34:4

I screamed and called out for God to help me.  Throughout the next year miracle after miracle showed up in my life and things I prayed for years were getting answered.  It was a wild time.  In 2014 I remember waking up and everything (my circumstance) was the same, but everything was different.  It was like the burden and weight of depression was lifted from my shoulders.  Oh, my gosh I could cry with how thankful I am.  I did cry while writing in my journal because it is unfathomable to me how good God is.  I can’t wrap my head around it.

This year is the fifth anniversary of the best decision I’ve ever made.  Notice, I didn’t say it was the easiest 5 years 🙂 .  It has actually been the hardest, yet the most beautiful.  I didn’t realize at the time, but when I prayed for God to make me a wife He had other plans and was making me His bride.  You see, “Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of you heart.”  My desire was to be a wife, but I wasn’t made into just any kind of wife… I was made into Christ’s bride.

Last week I was thinking how I never imagined the life I am living now.  Well, I hoped for it, but never thought it was possible.  I never imagined living in peace.  I used to be crippled with anxiety and fear.  I used to struggle with food and body image.  When I took care of my mom I handled it with external control.  Flash forward to the last several years and God had me take care of my grandma, but this time WITH HIM.  I could no longer have the same behavior because I was a new creature.  I surrendered control.

“Sometimes, God doesn’t change your situation because He is trying to change your heart.”

Oh man, I am just so thankful.  I am loved and wanted by the creator of the universe.  I had a “runner’s heart” and He taught me to stay.

I took solo trips which at the time to me were with God.  Nobody will ever convince me otherwise, but I have more wisdom now and am sure that solo traveling season of my life is over.  He has taken my closed off heart and taught me to love.

“WHEREFORE, MY BELOVED, AS YE HAVE ALWAYS OBEYED, NOT AS IN MY PRESENCE ONLY, BUT NOW MUCH MORE IN MY ABSENCE, WORK OUT YOUR OWN SALVATION WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING.” – PHILIPPIANS 2:12

“Jesus, nobody could love me like You do because nobody knows me like You do.  You show up and surprise me in little ways all the time.  I have an early job right by a huge window/door and get to see every sunrise and each of them is unique and marvelous.
You kept your vows to me and entered a covenant with me.  You are a promise keeper.

“NOW WHEN I PASSED BY THEE, AND LOOKED UPON THEE, BEHOLD, THY TIME WAS THE TIME OF LOVE; AND I SPREAD MY SKIRT OVER THEE, AND COVERED THY NAKEDNESS: YEA, I SWARE UNTO THEE, AND ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH THEE, SAITH THE LORD GOD, AND THOU BECAMEST MINE.” – EZEKIEL 16:8

This has been the best five years of my life an when my life started counting.  My life didn’t start until 5 years ago because I was dead, but was born again and came alive because You are alive.

I have learned in whatever state I find myself to be content.  This means I have learned to be still and trust You.  I have learned Your ways are better than mine and continue to learn to release my control.  You knew all my issues and state of my heart before choosing You and You still chose me.  No matter how many times I run You’re there waiting for me to come home.  I have learned I am home.  I don’t want anything else.  You are my home.  You are my place of rest and safety.  You are my defender.  I have learned to stop being so defensive because you fight for me.  You are who I run to when my heart is broken and only You can fix it.  You never tire of me and are always there.  You wanted me for life and all of eternity.  A few weeks ago you gave me a glimpse of the next part of healing and I know you’l be there through it and never leave me.

“HE SHALL COVER THEE WITH HIS FEATHERS, AND UNDER HIS WINGS SHALT THOU TRUST: HIS TRUTH SHALL BE THY SHIELD AND BUCKLER.” – PSALM 91:4

I never imagined a life or love like this.

Thank You for everything.

You showed me love, mercy, forgiveness.  You taught me to let go.  You taught me to forget the former things.  You take care of me always.  You took everything from me to show that I have everything I need in You.”

It’s been 5 years of endless stories and it’s only the beginning.’

“AND THERE ARE ALSO MANY OTHER THINGS WHICH JESUS DID, THE WHICH, IF THEY SHOULD BE WRITTEN EVERY ONE, I SUPPOSE THAT EVEN THE WORLD ITSELF COULD NOT CONTAIN THE BOOKS THAT SHOULD BE WRITTEN. AMEN.” – JOHN 21:25

If you got what you prayed for…

How I met my best friend:  Christian Introvert Struggle

Adventures in Grace and Overanalyzing Everything

“LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND.  IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD. 

IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. 

LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. 

IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.” – 1 CORINTHIANS 13