This is the full story behind the blog post from a couple weeks ago “Mark 11: Sometimes you’re the mountain that needs to be moved“.

The back story is also written here entitled (Do not be unequally yoked) When Love looks a lot like hate. Christians are the worst offenders… Part 1 that I re-posted the week before that.

What happens when we don’t deal with brokenness? It flares back up in the most bizarre ways.

There was a guy who came to my job every day. From the second I saw him when I first started working there, he was on my heart to pray for him. I don’t know why. It could have been the flesh. I had just been delivered and saved in a very dramatic way and wanted everyone to see. I had zeal with little wisdom. I would argue about Jesus with everyone not willing to wipe the dust from my feet.

“If only they had this ONE LITTLE DETAIL, they would see how good He is.”
I befriended a grumpy older man at my job as well, who was an atheist. This story isn’t about him, but what was happening was God was allowing me to see the whole world in a very tiny percent while working in customer service. I experienced all types of religions, people, beliefs, morals, frustration. People are just people no matter where you are. There is nothing new under the sun.

To make a long story short, I talked to him every day because he was our regular. I chose from the beginning that I recognized his arrogance and wouldn’t let him get away with anything. I called him out with everything he threw at me. I didn’t like him.

Over time, that changed.

We found out (only by seeing each other at my job every day) we were perfect for each other … personality wise.

Six years later, a few weeks ago, something I thought I had let go of came back.

I talked to him about Jesus. Every day. I already knew where he stood, so why was I so stupid?

Everything is already in the blog mentioned, but I thought if I wrote everything out on paper, it would be over. I would give him the letter when I left my job if it came to that. It wasn’t a love letter. It was a letter of how God used him in my life, even if he was an atheist. It was a letter about Christ. We met for coffee, and I was a nervous wreck not knowing how this would go but gave him the letter, and I’m telling you it was God there. He tried catching me on everything, but he couldn’t because God was speaking to Him that night. He rejected all of it.

He did not run, though.

He’s an atheist. He’s dead. He’s blind as a bat.

A year later, and a few months of dealing with something traumatic to me. I wanted God to heal me from things. I wanted to move forward. I want the life God has for me and not what others say or what my expectations are. I want what God has.

After quarantine and I went back to work, I saw him and realized feelings flared up. A few weeks of this ridiculousness made me know I had to deal with it. I had to cut it off.

After our coffee date, I went out with him a few times as friends (but, was it after all that you’ve read?). I cut him off.

A year later, when he flared back up as I realized I never dealt with my feelings. I did have feelings for him. If you truly love someone, you tell them the truth, even if that means telling them their beliefs are sending them to hell.

I had to confront him because I want to move forward, and I want God to cut off ANYTHING that is stopping my life from being blessed with what He has for me.

This is the whack-a-mole mode of my life. Something is rising up and BAM…. ain’t got time for you. BYE.

So, I looked up his number and texted that I had to talk to him. Not knowing if he would yell at me or cut me off or throw me out or if he had a girlfriend.

I didn’t care.

I had to tell him I loved him.

I had to be free. It would always be in the back of my mind because subconsciously, that’s what I was doing. I was waiting. I said I was waiting on God and trusting him with my life, but I was waiting for God to change him. But, he had to choose God. Free will.

On the way to his house, I was praying not to throw up. I thought I would be a hysterical crying mess.

I was more of a robot. I got myself in this mess, and I had to fix it. I had to face things now and not run from them.

“It was you or Colorado, and I had to go to Colorado RIGHT NOW, but that got messed up, and I realized I was running from my feelings. I’m still here and had to confront this. I love you and will always care about you. We can’t be together.”

What if God never said to do that. He was sending all the burning bushes, telling me he’s not the one. But, this mountain could move. You’ve made the blind see. I’ve read countless stories in the bible. We were perfect. This wasn’t fair. How can I let someone I care about go?
Life isn’t fair. It’s not.

One of my best friends died this year on top of having to let go of a situation I ultimately made up in my head. “I’m tired. Where is God.”

That’s why we have to control our thoughts. Our imaginations can go wild, and while we can live with hope, we have to face the reality of situations. It just takes one little thought that we don’t even realize how much it has controlled our lives. It’s manifested in the craziest of ways.

It doesn’t matter his response because nothing would’ve changed the outcome unless his response was I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and understand. I see. Jesus is Lord. I know what you were saying. Let’s get married. (Ha… that last part I made up because I’m a girl.)

How much time did I waste? How much did I delay my own blessing because of this one root I never really dealt with?

I am thankful for Godly friends who put me in my place when I was having a life crisis over errythaaang.

I asked my dad why God would allow me to see a situation like that. Why would He let me to see someone who was so dead?

“You’ll recognize it next time you see it.”

I couldn’t understand all this time that was wasted. I felt like it was God telling me things. Maybe my whole life was a lie. It made me question everything, and my faith was so shaky. Because it wasn’t just about this guy. Things are piling on.

Until.

A friend started telling me about their friend. He is blind. They talk to them every day. The situation sounded very familiar.

I could confidently and knowingly tell them to stop it. Right now. Cut it off. If God opens their eyes, you’ll know. You can’t open someone’s eyes. Leave it alone. Don’t touch it. Don’t think about touching it. Walk away.

And if all this happened so I could talk to my friend, then it was worth it.
I am free. It was not easy.

Doing the right thing is not always easy. Life is too short and precious to be waiting and stressing over something you have no control over. It’s too short to worry about those who don’t care about you. Let it go. Leave it alone.

But, you know what. Serving God is always the right thing to do and is never in vain. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. They’re so much higher and always for our good.

Two days after I dealt with this and started struggling with God forgetting me and wondering about everything and had no hope………
A true miracle happened. I cannot share the story yet, but I witnessed a miracle.

God is good. He is faithful. I want the plans HE has for me.

He makes beauty from the ashes and when we are in despair always brings us messages of hope saying, “I AM.”

I hope God uses this story. Mostly saying, don’t be an idiot like me.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Stop trying to open eyes.
You can’t. You are just a seed planter.

This isn’t the end of my story. It’s only the beginning.

“FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU,” DECLARES THE LORD, “PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE.”
– JEREMIAH 29:11

Resist the devil and he will flee…