Do you have what it takes to be a Proverbs 31 wife?
In a Christian circle Proverbs 31 is like “it”. Men are to look for a woman like that… women are to be that woman… but, on our own in the flesh we do not and cannot have what it takes to be that woman. It is an unattainable goal in our own strength. Who could ever live under that pressure of the “ideal” biblical woman? Only by the power of Christ and His spirit are we able to be shaped into that character
I don’t know why I desire to be married so badly. There’s nothing wrong with having desires and being single can be frustrating (HELLO!!), but I’ve learned (and have to learn and re-learn and …re-learn) to be content in this season. I am not forgotten. It is when I take my eyes off of God and look at the circumstance that I get the most impatient. When I stop putting God first in my life and want the desire more than I want Him is when I start stressing and freaking out.
It’s in this season of singleness I am learning just who I am in Christ. He is making me. I am preparing for and becoming the person able to be what He has for me. I do not know what the next season has nor His plans but I know He is working on my heart. I’ve prayed for a new season or change, but realized I am the change. I am the mountain He is moving in my life. I could write all the ways of what He is doing, but I don’t have to.
Look at the proverbs 31 wife. She was not born with those qualities, but became her. The only way we can become her is by clinging to Christ and having Him mold us into His image. I want to study it more, but am sure Proverb 31 is really Christ’s bride… the church.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
How many times have you heard the scripture being read at a wedding, but you know the characters of the bride and groom standing at the altar and are like “What??”. To them it is just something good to say. It’s just empty words on a page and something nice to say about the one they are with.
How many times have you been to a godly wedding and just rest at how good God is because those two get it.
Who can find a virtuous woman?
It’s a fallen world and none of us are born virtuous. As for the definition of the word who can find a woman with “high moral standards” who is righteous (good, moral, ethical, upright, upstanding, high minded, principled, blameless, honorable, godly, admirable, sinless)? Who can find a woman who has devoted her life to Christ knowing that is the only way to be a wife of such regard?
When you know who you are nobody has to convince you.
I’ll be honest and it is probably not shocking that being a wife and mom is something I always wanted to be … or at least felt like that is what I should be …?
What if being single wasn’t a disease?
I have (almost) found the One my soul loves…
When life is nothing like you planned and neither is Plan B…or C…
When God shows you how to wait for your Boaz…
I will (not) show you my faith by my works…
When I got saved 6 years ago I prayed and asked God to make me a wife. For the next six years He would remove the scales from my eyes and shed who I think I should be and show me who I am: His Bride.
It would be years of healing and growth through all the questions I had about EVERYTHING gaining wisdom and knowledge about my God. I had to let go of my desires not knowing if I was really called to marriage. If I’m not meant for the life I always desired…or thought I should be… what is the life I’m supposed to be living. What have I been doing?
I, like I’m sure a lot of people, wonder if I would even be good at that? Being a wife and becoming a mom is a large responsibility and something I’ve never done. I’m currently single and only have to really worry about myself. How do you even begin to raise a child?! Nobody really knows what they’re doing… they’re just holding on for dear life and the hem of His garment. I look at others and fall short every which way. I’ve never been around children … I don’t know anything about them.
But, in the middle of all my insecurities and doubts about my entire future and unsure of what I’m supposed to be doing…
My last post talked about having to let go of an atheist I talked to about Jesus for six years:
Can you really move forward until you tell someone you can’t be with you love them?.
We were perfect for each other except for the one major issue that would stop us from being together: Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
On the way to his house I prayed to not throw up and that the visit would be fruitful and peaceful. I see him every day, but hadn’t really talked to him in over a year (dodging him, mostly) and wasn’t sure how he would respond to any of it.
When I got to his house I just said, “I’m sure this comes off as kind of random…” was not hysterically crying, and just robotically told him I loved him. I needed to be free so I could move onto what God has for me. It was a peaceful visit and ending. More is posted in that blog, but after I confronted him, and unsure of the sincerity of this statement, he told me I would make a good wife and mom.
My automatic response without blinking an eye was “I know I will.”
He kind of looked baffled and matter of factly said, “You’re so confident.”.
I said, “Because God made me a wife.”
Just like that.
I didn’t need someone to validate me and remind me I would make a good wife. I didn’t need someone who doesn’t want anything to do with my God to tell me who I was or try to make me feel better that I would make a good mom. I didn’t need someone to tug at my emotions thinking I longed for a husband so badly to be a wife that I needed to be comforted by an unbeliever who “believed in me” he was the one I needed.
I’ve spent the last 6 years being stripped of who I was to only be humbled and rebuilt by the Creator of the universe. I’ve spent the last 6 years fighting for who I want to be … fighting the flesh and letting go of things I wanted knowing it’s not what God wanted. Nobody needs to tell me who I am because I already know. God already told me who I am and continues to remind me in His word. That guy didn’t have to tell me anything, but God let him just so an atheist could make me speak life into what I already knew and maybe make them wonder for a split second how someone without a ring on their finger already knew they were a wife.
God sees the heart. He’s been making me a wife and shaping me since my prayer years ago. He did not forget. You’re not simply born a wife or a husband, but your character is what makes you those things.
And just like that the dream came back.
I am not forgotten. He is making me and preparing me for what He has for me.
Do I know for certain that I will get the desires of my heart? I do not. But, I know He is faithful and gives us our desires as in places these thoughts in our minds and gives us the peace and wisdom to guide our steps in the direction He wants us to go.
It was the first time I spoke aloud with certainty because He is making me. It isn’t me who is doing the work, but the fruit of His work in me.
I’ve been so much more open about wanting to learn the good and bad of marriage. I’ve asked for advice.
Because this is getting real. This isn’t a rehearsal. If you don’t go after what you want you’ll never have it. I want the heart of a godly wife and mother and in order for that to happen you have to let go of all expectations and speak to those who have been there.
I know who I am. I’m a Child is God and He is shaping me into His image to be used for His purpose.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
I watched The Color Purple this last weekend and have listened to this song ever since
YouTube: God is trying to tell you something – The Color Purple
“If I were you I would say yes, speak Lord. Speak to me.
Oh, Speak, Lord… Won’t you speak to me?
I was so blind.
I was so lost until you spoke to me.
Oh, speak, Lord… Speak, Lord and hear my mind…
Oh, with your word, heal my soul.
Oh, speak, Lord…Speak to me.
Speak, my Lord … I love you, Lord…
Save my soul.
Can’t sleep at night and you wonder why
Maybe God is trying to tell you something
Crying all night long, something’s gone wrong
Maybe God is trying to tell you something”
Beloved Oath of God 