If this post makes any sense I give all glory to God.  I didn’t know what to write about this week because all my mind is focused on is a baking project I have been planning.  I’ve been going over recipes and writing grocery lists for several weekends in advance.  I’ve already got my taste testers lined up and they have to hear too much about fried cheesecake.

This week’s post isn’t about fried cheesecake though.  I was praying about what to write and wanted it to be what God has done for me lately, but how do I choose?!  I’ve found my blog has gotten more and more personal.  If you read previous entries you would probably notice something was going on, but not quite sure what it is.  I would write in vague ways, but share the lessons.  

Lately I just stopped caring about telling my story because I’m not the person I was six years ago and am so thankful for it.  Metaphors are great, but sometimes a real story is helpful.  Being personal is being genuine… Jesus says to come as you are.  Why should I be ashamed?  Writing allows me to get it all out and if it also helps someone else then praise God.  I believe God uses our pain and the things we are afraid of the most to help others.  Satan makes us feel shame and tells us to hide, but God’s grace uses everything for our good.   

Suddenly, the most obvious thought hit me on what to share this weekend … write about a friend God brought back into my life.

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” – Proverbs 27:17

You know, the last six years have been so crazy for me.  While it seems God has taken everything from me, what He actually has done is wipe the slate clean with plans to fill it with His purpose.  He doesn’t let anything go to waste.  

When you give your life to Jesus you get a new heart and have to renew your mind.  All the things you knew… all the habits you had … a lot of the people that were with you can’t stay because you no longer fit that mold.  His Word transforms you if you let it and one day you won’t be able to recognize yourself.

This post is shared with permission and about a girl I went to high school with. When I asked if I could write a post about her life her response was, “Of course! If my story can help anyone then that’s Gods work.”

Since high school we have always been friendly to each other, but didn’t have much in common.  She married her high school sweetheart and had the true American Dream with a literal picket fence surrounding the cute little house on the corner, red arched door, and made herself a garden.  She lived her dream of being a mom to a sweet little boy and dimple-smiles little girl.

From the outside looking in she had the life everyone desires to have.

Without getting into details a couple years ago her life came crashing down and to make a long story short they aren’t married anymore.  She couldn’t save her marriage however hard she tried.  When I found this out I was completely devastated and before knowing any of this prayed for her.  Sometimes, God puts people on our hearts and we have no idea why.  A lot of times people are fighting silent battles and God chooses to put them on your heart to fight for them.

If you read my blog you know I desire and pray for my future husband.  Nobody quite understands my waiting and trusting and have to hear “faith without works is dead” because I don’t ‘date’ as the world says I should.  I have so many posts about being single and waiting on God it could almost be embarrassing.  I should understand this already and just trust His timing and wait.  God doesn’t tell us to serial date or search through people until we find the right one.  His word says “He who finds a wife…” not “she who chases a husband…”.  We should be content in all things and know He is the provider. 

I’m aware everyone has different stories of how they met their spouses and love hearing them.  I mean, I follow accounts called “how we met” on Instagram.  Who doesn’t swoon over a great love story?!  I just don’t feel led to “put myself out there” or go on the internet and on dates with a bunch of different people.  That scenario actually sounds more like my worst nightmare.  What business does a Christian have “putting themselves out there”?  My life is devoted to Christ and going where He leads me.  If He decides to drop a man on my roof He will and I’ll be in my house baking I’m sure. Haha

He is always on time with everything else in my life and will cross our paths when His timing allows.  He is never too late and never too early.  He’s always right on time.

I’ve already lived the stressed out, searching, ‘have to find them now now now ‘… and wondered so many “what if’s” about so many things and people I’m so happy to finally be content saying “it’s You and me, God”.  I surrender.  I love what He is teaching me in this single season.  My heart was pretty messed up and He is restoring me. I can’t wait for the life He has for me and He is building it one brick at a time NOW.  

He doesn’t miss a thing and I haven’t missed out on any part of life no matter what the world says.  My life has not been boring one day in 6 years since I devoted my life to Him. He says not to worry about anything but am instructed to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me.  

Is He a liar?

Does that mean I shouldn’t worry about this over here, but try and strive for this thing over there?  There’s no reason to rush into something (no matter what it is) especially if we aren’t healed in an area because that could only lead to disaster.  Instead of moping about ‘why not me’ or the fact that I am “STILL” single I can rejoice knowing I’ve been given the gift of time …and I have no intention of wasting it.

You can plan all you want, but you never really know how your life will turn out.  And you never truly know what goes on in the life of others… no matter how white picket fence it may appear.  

Getting back to the main heroine of this post we may have seen each other a handful of times since high school, but I kept up with her life through the years on Facebook.  After her divorce she moved into a cute little house she’s in now and I remember her posting about a rat in her shed and that she couldn’t handle this anymore.

Going through my own struggles I recognized the final straw.  This wasn’t about the rat in the shed.  I messaged her and told her I would come help paint her house.  I didn’t really know why as I never really get in peoples business … but I just know she needed a friend or she would end up having a nervous breakdown and/or going to Ireland by herself.  Ask me how I know.

Anyway, one day last year I went to help her and her family paint her house.  I had no intention of anything except helping that day and went back another weekend for a second coat.  Sometimes, you need to really pay attention to people and know when it’s not about the paint nor about a rat in the shed.  (Or chicken soup.)

We didn’t really talk much after that, but I prayed for her.

I don’t even know if we talked before this, but I remember her texting me last year to tell me she had gotten saved and gave her life to Christ.  First, I was so excited for her relationship with Jesus, but secondly was so happy she wanted to tell ME.  She told me she had a dream (and I kept the screenshot so I can quote her word for word and it’s dated October 2019): “Saturday night I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep and this crazy thing happened.  I had such a sense of peace overcome me and felt/saw a flame being placed in my heart and it erupted through my whole body warming me and the presence of the Holy Spirit filled me.  It was so intense.”

That’s one of the best texts I’ve ever gotten and was so happy for her I couldn’t contain it.  We have talked ever since.  A year later and we text each other throughout the day.  

I had learned so much about marriage on my journey with Him and what God says about it.  He brought me through so much and opened my eyes to the truth of HIS way of marriage verses the world’s way.  I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it and didn’t have many single friends.  All I heard was pressure to date or questions about my life and you kind of get tired of it.  It’s hard to explain waiting on God because we have been conditioned for instant gratification.  We have been trained to go after what you want and not to stop until we get it.  You don’t run across many people who are truly depending on God and knowing you’re planted where you are for a reason.  It’s a humbling thing to wait on the Lord.  As a child of God we know it’s no longer our life.

For a while I didn’t give up my desire, but put it to the side and tried not to think about it.  I wanted to learn what God had for me because life isn’t just meant to be about marriage.  There’s a whole life God has in store without a husband and if he comes along well IT IS ABOUT TIME.  You can’t be joined to a life if you aren’t sure of the one you’re already in.  Little did I know that the single person God would bring into my life to join me in this singleness journey would be single without a choice.

Not only that I’ve learned so much through her own lessons from her marriage.  Where I wouldn’t talk about marriage before because it would drain me I decided to learn about it through others.  I started asking marital advice from people who had been married 25 years and more.  You also learn a lot from a divorced friend who has chosen God and is running full speed with Him.  If you want an inspiring story just look at the person whose life was headed in one direction and suddenly got blown to pieces.  She literally had to start over and I’ve been so honored to watch God rebuild it one layer at a time.  I’ve watched her growth in not just baby steps, but giant leaps.  She told me after she got saved she felt led to go apologize to her ex husband.  She drove to his house and was hysterically crying telling him she was sorry if there was anything she’s done to hurt him.  He didn’t understand the sudden change or what was going on, but her heart was different and she was repenting.  When I think of this it makes me laugh because a new heart makes us do some weird things sometimes and nobody could understand because it is between us and God.  I just imagine her sobbing to her husband, but since his eyes aren’t opened he is just standing there like “huh?”.

I would’ve never imagined this would be the person God provided in my life to grab my hand and run this stretch of the race with me, but I feel so honored it’s her.

It’s fun to freely talk about your dreams and future with someone with no pressure added to it and simply encouraging each other.  I feel extremely overprotective over her though ha.  She will mention a guy and I interrogate her about them and their beliefs.

“Give me their phone number.”

She sent me a sermon series by Transformation Church called ‘Relationship Goals’ by Mike Todd and said I probably didn’t need to watch them.  My response was asking if she had not just witnessed what I’d been through by liking someone who was perfect for me and I for them, but they were an atheist!  I think I could use a reminder!  She mentioned to me how I brought up the atheist when we were painting and she didn’t understand why I couldn’t date him. Now that her eyes are opened she understands. At the time I said it didn’t even know why I brought him up, but God doesn’t waste anything.

A few weeks ago she texted me one night that she was struggling worse than normal about a husband.  She said she was going to pray and read her bible.  I responded ‘ok’ but REALLY wanted to know what God would reveal to her.  I didn’t ask, but she VOLUNTARILY said she read the first chapter of Hosea for the first time.  I thought how perfect that was, but she didn’t quite know what God was trying to show her.  

For some reason I shared how much I LOVE the book of Hosea.  One of my favorite books is ‘Redeeming Love’ by Francine Rivers which is a retelling of the book of Hosea with ‘Michael Hosea’ as the main character.  

Anyway, I had already been through the same things she was currently experiencing.  While I didn’t go through the same thing she did, I’ve felt rejection.  We have all battled loneliness and all long to be loved by someone.  If none of this were true the world wouldn’t be in the situation it’s in right now.  People wouldn’t be searching for it in all the wrong places if there wasn’t a void to be filled.

Hosea was a prophet instructed by God to marry a prostitute named Gomer who kept running away to other lovers, but he kept going to get her.  My friend said she feels like Gomer at times because she runs from God.  She does good and then a distraction comes up and she’s running away from Him.  I said we are all Gomer and that is exactly what the book is about.  God used the prophet Hosea marrying a prostitute as a metaphor for Israel turning from Him and running to other gods and lovers.  Sin makes us believe what we are chasing will satisfy us, but they always turn up empty.  We think it’s our false gods that are giving us these great things. But it was God who was taking care of us the whole time… 

“And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them: then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now. For she did not know that I gave her corn, and wine, and oil, and multiplied her silver and gold, which they prepared for Baal… And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali…For I will take away the names of Baalim out of her mouth, and they shall no more be remembered by their name.  And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.” Hosea 2:8-20 (various verses)

“And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi…”

I needed these reminders, too, and after re-reading this passage forgot to remember I’d looked up ‘ishi’ before and it means husband.

“And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Husband…”

We are already loved and chosen.  He chose my friend (and me… and you..) to be His bride.  He is the bridegroom and will always run to His bride when she turns away because we are in covenant with Him.  This is why marriage is so important to Him and is supposed to be the metaphor of our relationship with Him.  We are sealed and He promises to never leave or forsake us.  We can never be plucked from His hand.  He loves us and promises to return is coming back again and there will be a wedding feast.

“He just told you.”  He is your husband.

She’s not alone.  I’m not alone. You’re not alone.

I told her I’d never understood what Ruth was doing when she laid next to Boaz on the floor and covered herself with his garment until reading a passage in Ezekiel one day.

“Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord…” Ezekiel 16:8

That’s what Ruth was doing.  She was essentially asking Boaz to marry her.  Since he was a godly, lawful man he knew the custom and had to ask the first kinsman redeemer (though knowing the guy couldn’t take care of both Ruth and Naomi).  Then, Boaz (happily) took on the responsibility and married Ruth.

Do you know how many times I’ve read Ruth in my lifetime and the 1,000,001 time was when that revelation hit.

A couple days after our conversation she texted me that she had not even thought of a man or husband all day.

A few weeks later she decided to take a risk and change careers.  I am so happy for her and proud of her because change is hard for anyone, but especially a single mom.  Instead of playing it safe being cooped up in an office doing something that pays the bills she suddenly has a desire to take a chance and leave the 9-5 for something that will allow her to use her creative gifts and talents (while making money).

It’s been so incredible to have her in my life.  She’s so inspiring and so excited for what God has in store.  There’s a quote in the ‘relationship goals’ series that talks about not slowing down for anyone and waiting for the person who can run after Jesus as hard as you are running.  We will randomly text each other ‘keep running’ knowing it’s meaning … don’t give up.  It’s hard.  Don’t look back.  Keep moving forward.

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus…”- Philippians 3:14

We always tell each other how thankful we are that God put us back in each other’s lives because He knew we would need each other.  I feel like she’s made my dream come back to life and watching someone so excited chasing after God wakes you up again.  She’s anticipating all God has in store and always talks about what He is doing or what He has taught her today.  Her life has been a constant state of change, but Christ is her anchor and she radiates true joy.  It’s written all over her face and you wonder “with all that she’s been through and through all her struggles she smiles”?  Because she has the peace that surpasses all understanding.  

I have been delivered from bitterness and even told her what an incredible witness it has been to see her not angry at her husband.  She said she never was angry at him knowing he has issues and whatever it is wasn’t about her.  She never wanted to be bitter towards him because she had to focus on her kids and wanted to be a good example to them.

Like I said…….. an incredible witness.

She doesn’t think she is strong because she’s living out the obstacles of her life.  She will always say it’s not her strength, but His is made perfect in weakness.

She said she wouldn’t change anything because this is what God has used to break her and lead her to Himself.  Without the pain she wouldn’t have the relationship with Jesus she has now.

I’ve told her I feel like God has used her as a catalyst in my life because getting to talk to her is like also talking to myself.  We have been able to help and watch each other grow and it’s so amazing.

Not everyone can stay in our lives, but God always brings the right people along when we need a refreshment.  She prays for her ex husband to be saved one day and wishes her family could be whole again, but she know she can’t be unequally yoked.  She is waiting for the godly man God has for her.

“I never got anything I prayed for until I became the person ready to receive it.”

Having her in my life is a breath of fresh air and I am so thankful.  He always sends what we need when we need it and nothing is ever wasted.

(I would also like to note since you’ve made it this far… thank you for reading.  I would also like to add here I do not want to be talked at about finding a man.  So, I’m asking kindly to please not do that.  This blog is to share my heart.  Unless the man you want me to meet loves Jesus more than he breathes, doesn’t believe water baptism is required for salvation, doesn’t celebrate Pagan holidays such as Christmas, and isn’t part of an organized church system knowing we are the church, please don’t bring it up.  

….Not that I’ve had experience with any of this before. 😉)

Have a blessed day.