Adult acne is not what I originally wanted to write about this week. I am doing a bible study on the “divorce” of Israel, The Marriage and union by death by Christ, and the scripture tying it together in Numbers 5. Instead, the topic at the front of my mind and all I can currently think of is a health journey I have been on since I was 24 years old to cure my acne naturally.

This is an update from a previous post: Health Journal Post: Because my mom prayed for a healthy child….

At 24, I caved in and went to the dermatologist and was prescribed antibiotics. As a teenager, I never went through that and had typical teenage pimples. I knew if I had to be on meds as an adult, this would be a chronic thing but did not want to live on medicine my whole life. I’m currently 32 years old and look like I just hit puberty. I’ve done everything I could think of to fix this.

I’ve changed my diet multiple times through the years, learned about gut health and inflammation, avoided dairy, started eating plant based foods, etc. I’ve learned a lot. Still, my efforts seem to be in vain (pun not intended), and have almost reached the point of giving up and choosing instead to live on processed foods and poison (aka medicine).

I’m not certain if it is the final straw to everything going on in the world, along with waiting for other desires in my heart in my own life, but I’m done. I’ve had enough. I just want healthy skin. My reasons are not all out of vanity, and I know there are more significant world problems. This adult acne is only a reflection of something amiss in my body that must be hormone-related. I want and try to be healthy, yet I feel like I have failed.
Meanwhile, I look around to see people not taking care of themselves at all and have flawless skin. They’re successful, married, have a family with perfect skin. It just doesn’t make sense and my flesh cries that it is not fair. My dad mentioned maybe this is the thorn in my side like Paul, to keep me humble. My response was not an edifying one. I apologize for the tone of this post.
For years I’ve prayed that God would show me the one thing missing to be healed naturally. It would just take one piece of information to fix my face without meds/supporting the pharmaceutical industry.
I’ve reached the end. At this point, I do not care anymore. I feel as though I’ve given up, but it is because it is starting to consume my thoughts. With everything else going on, I’m in a heightened state of anxiety and starting to get depressed OVER MY FACE.
“Where is your faith, Aimee?”
A few nights ago, I had a major meltdown with one of my best friends in North Carolina (I am in New Orleans). It was so irrational, but I am thankful she listened and made jokes. I finally surrendered to seeing a dermatologist she found on Tik Tok. My initial reaction to a Tik Tok doctor was a mental eye roll, but she not only did an online consult but is willing to help holistically. This recommendation started sounding promising, and then my friend asked, “How far is this city from you?!”. The doctor’s office is 20 minutes from my house!
The day after this conversation, I made the appointment. Today is two weeks since the visit, and have since been on a fluid pill with a topical prescription. After researching the oral medicine, I learned it could take a few months to work, and when discontinued, the acne comes back.
The dermatologist was extremely nice, and I liked her a lot. She is not helping holistically yet, so gave me a list of recommended naturopathic doctors. She stated she appreciates people who do not jump to medicine for quick results. I repeatedly told her I’m not too fond of medicine and do not go to doctors and for me to be in her office was a huge deal. I waved my white flag.
A week after starting the medicine, I had another meltdown. It should’nt have gotten to this point.
Let’s see if I remember correctly: “I could’ve been eating ice cream and fried chicken! I’ve been eating vegan cheese!”

Have you ever had a meltdown over vegan cheese? It’s comical, I know.
Let’s also not assume the meltdown was a one-time thing. Last night, I sent her pictures of my face entitled #done. I know I just started this medicine, but that is not the point. I’ve prayed for years for healing. I’ve prayed that God would show me what to do, and it simply should never have come to this. I do not understand why God doesn’t fix this? I don’t think the anxiety I have over everything else in my life is helping. I mean, this week was the American presidential election. Even knowing God’s kingdom is not of this world, election night had me sprinting around my block three times to burn off a potential nervous breakdown. There is just too much going on. If I would stop looking at circumstances and impossibilities, I could have the peace He promises.

An unexpected friend and brother in Christ (my former post You attract what you are… about a ‘scary’ customer singing ‘Ain’t too proud to beg’ shattering the tough image I had of him) happened to stop in the day after venting to my friend.

We are required to wear masks all day at work, and when he saw the sides of my face was about to ask. I said, “Stop. Today is not the day to talk about it.”
“What?”
“Today’s not the day. I had a major meltdown about it last night and I’m just done. I know I shouldn’t worry about it, but I’m over dealing with this.”
He said, “Stop now.”
He knelt down right by me and said, “You’re a beautiful person inside and out, and if a man doesn’t see that ::cue a middle finger in the air::. You saw that right??”
I responded, “I know all that. I’m just irritated and today’s just not the day.”
His response was “Uh uh! Why you worried about that?? It ain’t nothing! Wait ’til you’re in your body of glory. Do you think Job was worried about what he looked like? Look at all the things he went through!”
“Do you know how long I’ve prayed over my face? Years!”
“So?! In the Bible everybody had to wait. Look at the Israelites in the desert…”

It was an unconventional message from God to me. I needed to hear it and am thankful for people who kick me in the pants. We all need a good pants kicking now and then.

This is one of my new favorite stories that I’ve only told to the closest people to my heart. It meant so much because God answered every single thought I had the night before in a few short sentences from someone who had no idea.

Hope.
When you’ve reached the end it could be a new beginning. My close friend has repeatedly mentioned getting my thyroid checked which seems to be the next step.

Until then, I went to Brent’s on my typical day off today because that’s what was good for my heart. Last night, his little niece asked if I was staying for dinner and it melted my heart. I did not stay, but went to see her today instead. I came home to cook shrimp tacos and end with this picture of my friend’s husband and his friend. Here I am having a life crisis over the state of the world as if it lands on my shoulders, and she sends a picture of these two guys who are “Team Mustard Seed”. It made me laugh so much I joked I would put it on this blog—the simplicity of a guy’s mind.