The potter has power over the clay. When we come to Christ, we have surrendered our control and plans to His. We do not know what He has in store for us, but we can trust they are right.

“But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”
– Isaiah 64:8

This year has been the year I’ve had to put my faith into action the most, and think we all can say the same. I’ve been blessed with keeping my job, having food, shelter, and even was provided a car. A friend who was “barren” has a baby due next month, so I’ve been extremely pampered during a pandemic and have gotten to witness miracles. I’ve been thinking of my journey with Christ. It started in 2014 and has been the hardest, yet most beautiful six years of my life.

“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” – Psalm 34:4

“I run to the Father
I fall into grace
I’m done with the hiding
No reason to wait
My heart needs a surgeon
My soul needs a friend
So I’ll run to the Father
Again and again
And again and again” – Run to the Father

When He found me I was depressed, worthless, with nothing left. He chose me and said “That’s the one I want”.

A strong root is formed in darkness…

Depression is a lie from the devil. I was so consumed by it. I didn’t think that’s what it was. I had a form of religion and felt shame, erroneously thinking Christians shouldn’t be depressed, so I couldn’t have been one. I was so far gone I didn’t think I was worthy enough to pray. God had forgotten me, and I was a burden to everyone around me. Life would be so much better for everyone if I wasn’t alive anymore. I was so wrapped up in grief; I didn’t want to get a job because there was no point to life at all. I saw no point in this existence. I had this huge weight I felt I had to carry alone.

Then, Jesus found me. A year later, I woke up, and everything was the same, but everything was different. The weight was no longer on my shoulders. He pulled me out of the pit, and I was made free. It was the most real thing to ever happen to me that nobody could ever tell me differently. There was a fire placed in my heart and I came alive. He baptized me with the Holy Spirit and turned my life around. I was being transformed into His likeness and image, dressed in His righteousness. Shame no longer had a grip on me. My past no longer could follow me around and whisper in my ear. Well, it could, but it didn’t matter to me anymore. I was made free.

I was thinking of how He has worked on my heart for the last six years. Depression skews your mind and warps your thinking. While I felt like nobody tried to help me, the truth was they couldn’t, and I wouldn’t let them. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and people overwhelmed me. They mentioned getting a job and countless other things to do, but that wasn’t going to fix me. I had this hole in my heart that needed repairing.

A story of one of the best-worst things to happen to me.

In 2014 I got a customer service job to be around people simply, and the very first thing God did was let me dog sit my coworker’s chocolate lab when she was going out of town.

That may seem so minor and silly, but a chocolate lab is my ultimate dream dog. I’ve wanted one since before I can remember. They are the friendliest, goofiest things that do not understand how big they are. They’re a horse filled with unconditional love, and from the second we saw each other, we were best friends. He knew I was obsessed with him, and we just got along perfectly. God knows the desires of our hearts. He was my friend. We walked, and he didn’t talk ‘at’ me. He was just there with no judgment. I just knew he was a miracle and answered prayer from God one step at a time, letting love peek in the cracks of my heart.

From there came a butterfly garden. It was a quiet space of learning to nurture and tend to things, requiring love and attention for growth to take place. I have a Butterfly garden: Just when the caterpillar thought its life was over…

“Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine.

⁹ Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil.”
– Ezekiel 16:8-9

It’s been years of breaking down the walls of my heart and allowing God to transform me. It’s easier for me to do things on my own and not let anyone in. It takes courage to love someone. It takes strength to let people inside the fortress built up for self-preservation. It takes a lot of bravery to be vulnerable.

The greatest miracle for me has been this guy with an extra chromosome. I’ve written several blog posts about him, and writing that he changed my life is an understatement. I think we (or at least I) go through life with this idea of tackling the world and changing it hugely. We think God has to do MAJOR THINGS in order to use you. I visualize trailblazing when the reality is love covers a multitude of sins. Love is what creeps in and changes our hearts. God is love and doesn’t make mistakes. Nobody is a mistake and He uses all of it for HIS purpose and HIS glory.
Don’t look at the clouds…

From A to Z be thankful for the M…

Brent is the most genuine person with no hidden agenda behind his persona. He enjoys the simplest things and shows what is essential. I cannot ever write enough to capture what God has done to change my heart with him, but it has been the best year of my whole life. God has chosen this unique individual to rush in and patch and restore my heart. He’s always loyal and a faithful friend. No matter what happens, you know you can count on Brent.
“Jesus gave me a Brent” Faithful is He that calleth you that also will do it…

One extra chromosome changed my life…

Last year I believed God told me I would seen a miracle. It wasn’t what I thought it would be, but His ways and plans are always higher. This is HIS world. I’m just living in it.

I have these desires that never seem to come to pass. God can always make things happen in a second, but sometimes He uses a process because the process makes us do something over and over until they become a habit. We are in school, and He gives us situations He knows we need for learning until we understand. He never leaves us. He wants us to come to HIM with EVERY QUESTION and never tires of us. He is continually teaching us and LOVES to do it. He wants us to spend time with Him and go to Him with our concerns. He is jealous for us.

I think we are all frustrated, but in Him is peace. It’s easy to blame God, for He has the power to turn any situation around. He never promised us a comfortable life. He promised never to leave us in the midst of the trouble. He never promised us happiness, but we can have everlasting joy. He never promises to give us everything we’ve ever wanted, but we live an overcoming life through the power of the Holy Spirit. And there is nothing better than that. There is nothing in the world that is better than Him. Nothing can compare to the love I have found in Him. When you want to give up please just keep clinging to Him. Don’t look at the distractions and what you don’t have. Remember all He has done and remember all He is going to do.

With man it is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible…
The Dr. said <1%… but, God…

“This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: ² “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” ³ So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. ⁴ But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

⁵ Then the word of the Lord came to me. ⁶ He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. ⁷ If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, ⁸ and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. ⁹ And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, ¹⁰ and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.

¹¹ “Now therefore say to the people of Judah and those living in Jerusalem, ‘This is what the Lord says: Look! I am preparing a disaster for you and devising a plan against you. So turn from your evil ways, each one of you, and reform your ways and your actions.’ ¹² But they will reply, ‘It’s no use. We will continue with our own plans; we will all follow the stubbornness of our evil hearts.’”

¹³ Therefore this is what the Lord says:

“Inquire among the nations:
    Who has ever heard anything like this?
A most horrible thing has been done
    by Virgin Israel.
¹⁴ Does the snow of Lebanon
    ever vanish from its rocky slopes?
Do its cool waters from distant sources
    ever stop flowing?^[a]
15 Yet my people have forgotten me;
    they burn incense to worthless idols,
which made them stumble in their ways,
    in the ancient paths.
They made them walk in byways,
    on roads not built up.
¹⁶ Their land will be an object of horror
    and of lasting scorn;
all who pass by will be appalled
    and will shake their heads.
¹⁷ Like a wind from the east,
    I will scatter them before their enemies;
I will show them my back and not my face
    in the day of their disaster.”

¹⁸ They said, “Come, let’s make plans against Jeremiah; for the teaching of the law by the priest will not cease, nor will counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophets. So come, let’s attack him with our tongues and pay no attention to anything he says.”

¹⁹ Listen to me, Lord;
    hear what my accusers are saying!
²⁰ Should good be repaid with evil?
    Yet they have dug a pit for me.
Remember that I stood before you
    and spoke in their behalf
    to turn your wrath away from them.
²¹ So give their children over to famine;
    hand them over to the power of the sword.
Let their wives be made childless and widows;
    let their men be put to death,
    their young men slain by the sword in battle.
²² Let a cry be heard from their houses
    when you suddenly bring invaders against them,
for they have dug a pit to capture me
    and have hidden snares for my feet.
²³ But you, Lord, know
    all their plots to kill me.
Do not forgive their crimes
    or blot out their sins from your sight.
Let them be overthrown before you;
    deal with them in the time of your anger.”