“This is the best part!”
I’ve been reading John Grisham novels. He is such a wonderful storyteller. He grabs your attention in the first couple of pages, keeps you viciously reading to find out what’s next, and pieces it all together in the last few paragraphs. It’s remarkable to me how someone can keep your attention with SO MANY different scenarios one after the other.

Some chapters are not congruent and don’t make sense at the moment, but the overall book would be lost without them. Each chapter, each character, holds a significant key to the plot, and without them, the story would not be complete. As frustrating as the ‘need to know what happens’ is, you know better than to skip to the end of the book because you miss out on its beauty. Keep going. Keep reading. Keep building the suspense and adding puzzle piece after puzzle piece, knowing it will all wrap up in the end, and you will be satisfied.

Just like these books, so is life. We want so badly to have the result and know what happens, but God is writing the story. We know it’s going to be a great one because Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose..”

The confusing parts won’t last long, and it’s only leading to the next chapter, which will clear it up. You can’t skip ahead because you will miss the lesson of this one. There’s an essential element to each word and sentence, even if you can’t see it yet. God doesn’t let anything go to waste, and it is all used for the outcome of our lives. He’s the best storyteller, and you can never predict what is coming, but you know it will all work out in the end. He always keeps us on our toes, and we have to keep reading to find out what happens. We have to keep running the race and fighting the good fight. He is writing our story, and we cannot skip past the mundane yet critical parts, for we won’t understand a few chapters ahead.

We can trust Him. He’s the best author and knows how to keep it interesting.

This is how my post originally was going to start:
I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of praying. I want what’s for me. I want a husband. I do. I do not understand why I have to wait right now or why He won’t send him. I am tired of saying, “God is preparing us simultaneously, and in His time will bring us together.” I am tired of the wait. I am tired of saying, “He makes everything beautiful in its time.”

I’m tired of wondering and tired of explaining to people why I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m tired of the waiting and drained by the lessons. I don’t have anything to complain about, but there’s just this void I feel, and I’m tired of saying, “You’re the only one that can fill me.”

I just want what’s mine.

I think the current state of the world makes the thought of our dreams die. It makes everything seem hopeless and impossible, but with God all things are possible. It’s obviously not all about a husband either. Will I keep my job? What happens if xyz occurs? Everything piles on top of each other and we should all just worry and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.

That’s not as edifying as the last part of my post, so today’s write up, and the previous blog post was for me. I wrote my previous post during an anxiety attack I had. This last week was filled with anxiety and breakdowns. What happens when I take my eyes off of Jesus and onto the circumstances is the inability to function. Crying fits and anger outbursts with no sense of rationalization. I know, doesn’t that sound like the perfect catch?

In the middle of the week, while driving to work one early morning, a thought that was the complete opposite of Jeremiah 29:11 ran through my mind. It was a fleeting thought, but one that said I do not have a future. Thankfully, I recognized it and, by that time, had enough. As soon as I spotted it started yelling and rebuking Satan to leave me alone. He has no authority over my life anymore.

God HAS a plan for me. He has a future for me. I cannot be concerned with the affairs of this life if I am focused on my creator. I cannot worry about the blurry present when all I should see is Him. He makes everything beautiful and perfect. If I do not have what I desire presently, there’s probably a good reason. Why do I want these things? Is it to glorify Him or myself? Is it because others have it, and I think I should as well? Why would He bless me with something if I only want it is out of jealousy? How would I be a good partner for my husband when I feel like such a mess now? How would I be a Proverbs 31 wife when I can’t even be thankful where I am?

Just because it’s messy now, I can’t stop reading. I’m getting to the good part.

This is only the beginning and it always works out in the end.

Don’t slow down or give up now. Keep reading. Spoiler: God wins. ❤

“First day Home”-Nothing is better than the alternative. A hope in what we cannot see.

I have (almost) found the One my soul loves…

God is in the waiting