I have been basking in this season and dwelling on thankfulness.

I have this peace and joy I cannot explain, but I struggled to obtain it for years.

As a caregiver, God had me enrolled in His school and would be lying if I said I liked it. Only a fellow caregiver can genuinely understand the stress this job demands, and I had compassion fatigue. Panic attacks and disdain best describe the feelings toward it, for I did not want to be where I was, but this was the life I chose which sounds ironic. Ha. I wanted to be free and live my life and tried every way I could to bust out of this season into something else. I did not want to be a caregiver nor wanted to be at the job I was at anymore, but I did not have a car to facilitate change.

If God has ever isolated you, then you can understand what a difficult season it was, but it is there that growth happens. It is in the waiting that we truly learn to depend on Him.

He is faithful, and most everything (not a husband) I waited (YEARS!!!!) for has come to pass, and the joy started with my friend’s miracle baby. The joy started just before that when I let go of the atheist I had fallen in love with. Good times.

I think of how suddenly things changed after that. I went from grieving the loss of a friend with my faith hanging by a thread, knowing there was nowhere else to turn, for “where else could I go?” (John ), to witness His power and might through one text message: an ultrasound picture.

“Hope that is seen is not hope…”

It is during the fire that we are purified. The “hard” is where our impurities rise to the surface, and He skims it off. He cuts off the rotten parts of us that are inhibiting our growth to grow new and healthy fruit. It is always the most challenging part and can hurt tremendously. I mean, imagine having a limb cut off, but if that limb causes you to sin, cut it off. (Hey, do not kill the messenger, that is what Jesus said.) It is during the trials that we see where our faith truly lies: in Him or circumstances. God already knows the end and what we will choose, but it is building US up and letting US see where our heart is. Paul states in Romans that all things work together for our good according to His purpose. Isaiah says His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. This means He knows better than we do, and we can trust Him. He has a way of making beauty from our ashes even though we wish we never had to become ashes.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.”

– 1 Peter 1:3-9

Furthermore, when you dwell on all, He has done and live in the simplicity of knowing “He’s got this” you cannot be anything but content. He is so good, so faithful, and is everything.

I am so thankful to be in this season and to have made it here. “But by the grace of God, so go I.”

People can serve whom they want. They think they are living by chasing and obtaining the things of this world. They seek but will never find fulfillment because there is only ONE who can make us whole.

There is only one God worth serving, and there is not a thing I can do to earn His grace. How can we have anxiety when all that comes out of our mouth is His praise?

I remember one of my favorite members saying, “If I’m worried I ain’t praying. And if I’m praying, I ain’t worried.”

I follow several Christian accounts on Instagram, and one image had a verse from Psalm 136. When I looked it up in my Bible, I also read Psalm 135, and both passages were mindblowing simplicity.

Look at all He has done.

So far, anyone who comes in contact with me knows two things: my barren friend had a baby, and God gave me a car.

I am so thankful for all the in-between and that He never gave up on me. He held me during the doubts and patiently waited for me. He taught me and let me stay stubborn as long as I wanted to be. He kept saying, “If she would just let go and trust My plan…”

In all my running, He showed me what matters. When I wanted to be an island, He told me we were made for relationships. He softened my heart and allowed me to let others in because I no longer fear rejection, for I have all I need in Him. He promises never to leave nor forsake me. What a joy it is to be able to form Godly friendships, and I do not know how I lived before. Well, I do, and I can tell you it was not fun. Isolating yourself causes depression and selfishness. I am an introvert, and enjoy my own space, but truly enjoy friendships and talking to people now. It is a true testament of the restoration God has done to my heart.

I am thankful I never received what I wanted but waited on Him and was given everything I needed.

If you are in a season of grief, struggle, or waiting, please keep holding on to Him. There is no where else to go. He has a plan and He is working it out for your good. He will not leave you, and it is not the end.

Prosperity teachers preach to live your best life now, but my best life is to come when I am in eternity with Him.

A story of one of the best-worst things to happen to me.

One extra chromosome changed my life…

The Dr. said <1%… but, God…

Desires of the heart: When God sends you on a cross-country road trip with your favorite person— and two kids.

I have (almost) found the one my soul loves…

Why do atheists “Thank God”?

How will you find them? What if they’re looking for you?

Some people are worth the drive.

God is in the waiting

I waited… and waited…losing faith… ‘and suddenly’. A car and a job: This is the life that God built!

‘As iron sharpens iron…’ When God suddenly brings a former friend back into your life

A strong root is formed in darkness…

We have seen strange things today…

When God crashes your grand adventure…

I had a meltdown over soup and a rental car: “If you think you’ve messed up God’s plan; you, my friend, are not that powerful.”

Failing forward: I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag.

When you have $0 in your bank account, but God covers you…