“For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.

Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” – Romans 7:14-25

A few years ago, I tore something in my left shoulder. I rested it for a year, basically doing nothing, and it healed or at least did not irritate me. Sadly, the same thing happened to my right shoulder about three months ago. The most recent realization in my life is that everything I have heard about turning 30 and bodies falling apart is accurate, and I pushed myself too far working out, I guess. However, because my shoulder hurt, I was trying to do as little as possible with my right arm, and the result was picking up the babies at school by picking up/putting all their weight on my left hand. This new method was weird for me because I am right-handed and was not used to it, but I did not think anything of doing this until my left hand started hurting and realized I may have strained something because of the weight. I would rather not see a doctor over this and started wearing a wrist brace; hoping this helps. Pride kept me from wearing it at school because I did not want anyone to know my hand was hurt or ask questions. Pride died yesterday when I realized I might have to see a doctor because it is not getting better, and I scared myself after researching what could be wrong with it.

Sin is like this. The pain of it infiltrates more than what we can see. The injury may be small at first, and we think we are getting away with it, but eventually, what is done in darkness comes to light, for the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart,.

Last night, I was riding my bike when I waved to a neighbor who saw the wrist brace, asked what was wrong, and stated we had the same issues. He fell while on a scaffold AFTER telling his son and brother how not to set up the scaffold and did the exact thing he told them not to do. He fell and dislocated his shoulder, but nothing was torn or broken. He had to get the joint popped back into place, and I said what a miracle that was because it could have been so much worse.
He replied that God looked out for him, and I said, I guess He gave him a pass this time to learn a lesson. He responded he learned his lesson and that he would never do that again because God would allow him to get hurt for not listening to him the next time.

I did not know how or what to write about this weekend. The small exchange with my neighbor tied many things together, creating material of substance. We can all relate as it is a metaphor for living in this fleshly body, having to keep it under control every hour of our lives. It is crazy that as much we may know what God says, repeat what God says, and preach what He says, we still end up doing the exact opposite of what we know we should be doing. It is important to surround ourselves with like-minded people running hard after Jesus. It is important not to let pride get in the way, talk about our issues, and confess our sins to one another. While all we truly need is Jesus, who promises to never forsake us, God created a family so we would not be alone. There is an instant connection with God’s people, and we are to encourage and exhort one another.

A few weeks ago, I found out Phil Wickham was coming to New Orleans, and making a long story short, my gracious aunt and uncle bought two tickets for me. I did not specify that I only needed one for myself as Ryan would not be in town and that they could give the other ticket away. However, I passively mentioned to Ryan about the concert and extra ticket, adding there is no pressure and that he may not even like the bands. He made sudden plans to come to town and join me at the concert.

While plans are never 100% with his job, and we originally would not see each other until Saturday morning, it worked out that he could get to New Orleans earlier than expected on Friday evening, thus being able to see each other. We spent all day Saturday running around New Orleans, and the word ‘running’ is not an exaggeration as we both woke up Sunday morning texting the other one that we may be dead. We mutually agreed that “nothing” was a great thing to do, and that evening we went to the worship service (where Ryan got to ride across the causeway for the first time … what a thrill!).

There was a surreal, overwhelming flood of emotion during the concert as Josh Baldwin was singing Evidence:
“All throughout my history Your faithfulness has walked beside me.
The winter storms made way for spring
In every season, from where I’m standing…
I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life.
I see Your promises in fulfillment all over my life”

I thought of all the things God has done, all the things he has taught me, all the things I’ve fought for to be where I am just in my walk with Jesus. And then as much was taken away, He replaced them one by one only the way He can. And there I stood I in a worship service standing next to a man I made up in my head that everyone kept telling me did not exist and I would be waiting my whole life.

While it is not my story to tell, I am honored I get to witness someone’s journey with God so closely. The man standing next to me left his life behind and trusted God, completely starting over from scratch. He did not know what or where he was going but knew the situation he was in was not “it” for him. I had the honor of going with him to cut his hair off on Saturday, marking the outward sign of his new season. The barber was appalled at why he would cut it as most men would die for his nice long hair. My favorite part was when the barber told him, “you’re gonna look like a totally different guy!” And Ryan’s response was, “it kind of matches the story, I guess, about I’m not who I was when I started growing it anyways…”

I am so thankful to know this guy. There are many things I could say, but for the sake of this post will save the gushing for another time. I am grateful to have found someone running after Christ as hard as I am, and my intensity does not scare them away. This is a rare thing for me as it has never been the case, and I’ve lived my life arguing or defending my beliefs. For the first time, I can be my total self, and we have discussions about everything with equal understanding and respect. I do not think anything we have ever talked about since our first message has been chill. We both started at our base level of 1,000 and never backed down. We neither planned to waste our own or anyone’s time and started with flame throwers… and we are still around.

A lot can happen in a week: A canceled trip, a friend’s visit, and a chat with demons

Sometimes God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers