LOTS OF PICTURES BECAUSE COLORADO.

“The mountains are calling and I must go…”

COLORADO!

I made it to Colorado!!!

I just got back this last Wednesday from two weeks filled with cool air and mountains.  My heart was the happiest.  As far as this post all pictures except two are from this year’s trip.  The rest of the post talks about the past, but the rest of the photos are from the last two weeks.  I only used my phone (I know, boo) because I was too busy taking it all in.

Did I mention I went to Colorado?  (I got to be with two of my favorite people.)

Pictured above are so many things to be thankful for.  Colorado… but also the miracle jacket that showed up as described in Jehovah Jireh – From parking spaces to jean jackets God provides our every need…

And since we are discussing God’s provision remember when He provided a bicycle for me?  A girl and her miracle bicycle…

The 2 above photos are from my first visit in September 2016.

“DELIGHT THYSELF IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART.”

What does that mean?  We are to submit fully to His will.  As a new creature we no longer want what we want, but want what He wants for us.  The world sees that verse as God promising to give us what we desire, but God wants to give us HIS best.  We should be thankful He doesn’t give us what we want.  His ways and thoughts for us are much higher.  He is a loving Father so He deals with His kids accordingly.  You wouldn’t just give children everything they desire because you know that would harm them.  They are very impulsive and their desires change on a whim.  They want what they want right then and can’t see into the future.  You give them gifts as you see fit that they are ready to receive.

Three years ago I visited Colorado for a childhood friend’s wedding.  I never had been before nor really thought of going.  Her brother told me once if I ever visited I would be hooked.  I politely scoffed.

I have always lived in the same area … well except for 2.5 years we lived in Memphis (against my will), but for all other times of my life I grew up in same area outside of New Orleans surrounded by the same people (friends and family) and never had any idea of ever wanting to leave.  Why would I?

But, God…

I visited Colorado in September 2016.  The amazing thing is looking back I see all of it.  What God was about to do was send me on an adventure and place me on the narrow way.  He was going to isolate me and make me wait.  He was going to show Who He is and nothing matters except Him.  God was about to turn my life upside down.  I took a solo trip to the Grand Canyon that August (desert season), visited Colorado in September (this makes my life sound exotic), and a couple months later my entire life would be turned upside down and I would learn and come to understand what it means that he who loses their life for His sake will find it.

Life doesn’t always go as planned.

“He who is flexible will not be bent out of shape.” … and I was a metal rod.

I could only see what I could see.  I only saw my desires that hadn’t arrived yet.  But, the new thing started when I stepped off that plane September 2016 and I wasn’t even looking for it.  My heart had been restless.  I took solo trips that God used to refine me.  I couldn’t find the one my soul loves.  My car was dying and had no a/c and a broken window in New Orleans summer (because I needed to save money for a trip… priorities…)… and next thing you know I step into 60 degree weather, clear and sunny skies, and no humidity.  I’d never experienced this before but it was as if suddenly I knew this is where my heart belonged.

That is how He usually shows up, right?  Where we least expect it.  I was just going to a wedding.

I was only there a couple of days and when I told my friend’s brother he was right he said “you didn’t even go to the nice parts.”  Nice parts?  I couldn’t even imagine anything better.  I probably would’ve died.  My eyes… My heart…  My hair… were all confused with what they were experiencing.

I wasn’t even back home yet before I was already yearning to go back.  But, God was working on me.  Stepping off that plane would be an adventure my heart could’ve never looked for on it’s own.  It took 3 years to go back, but I am not the same person I was since the first time I visited.  God worked on my heart and did a new work in me (that will not be finished until I am gone from this body).

I came to the realization my own plan wasn’t working.  God had to temper me.  He cleansed my heart to not want what I want.  It took 3 years, but my life came down to two choices: the one that would make me stay in New Orleans or accepting a whole new life somewhere else.  Whether or not I was to stay in New Orleans I still desired Colorado … and that’s how God works… my New Orleans plans were confirmed a no and it was peaceful because I already knew.  When I finally made it back to Colorado this verse was so alive:

“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when the desire cometh it is a tree of life.”

It was as if all the fighting and struggling the last three years… all the trying to fit pieces where they didn’t fit … all the things that didn’t work out … all the “Why nots” and “when God?” were all worth it because they were never supposed to work out.  They wouldn’t have worked out because I was not where I was supposed to be.  God knew what it would take to change my heart and let go.  He knew from the beginning and He knew the journey I had to go on to surrender to His plan.

I am still praying about this, but I do believe God is turning me to a whole new direction.  “Forget the former things. Behold I will do a new thing.”  This is a whole new thing, but God had me exhaust all options that I would be content to just walk away from everything.  I learned to trust His ways and know that what He has is all good.  His plans for me will prosper me and not harm me.  He will always be with me.

The first time I visited Colorado I thought ‘this is where I belong’.  Due to life circumstances I had never made it back until this year.  But, God knew.  God knew the timing of it all.  he knew how much I desired to be there and worked on my heart to not just “run” to Colorado, but to live content where I currently am and patiently wait for His time.  He had to temper me to not go looking for what’s next, but to just know that in time if I am meant to be there then in His time I will be.  This second visit only confirmed what I thought: ‘this is where I belong’.  I cannot explain it.  I just know I’ve never experienced that before.  I’ve never gone somewhere and just known that THIS is it.  I can describe it as if I exhausted all options where I am so that when the new thing sprang forth I wouldn’t be afraid to move.  I would leap forth when that door flew open not even questioning what’s behind it knowing it’s completely unknown and nowhere my own plan.

God prepares our hearts for the future.  He knows what will bring us to our knees.  He knows what will lead us to surrender.  The new thing happens when we say, “Not my will, Lord, but Yours be done.”

“REMEMBER YE NOT THE FORMER THINGS, NEITHER CONSIDER THE THINGS OF OLD.  BEHOLD, I WILL DO A NEW THING; NOW IT SHALL SPRING FORTH; SHALL YE NOT KNOW IT? I WILL EVEN MAKE A WAY IN THE WILDERNESS, AND RIVERS IN THE DESERT.” – ISAIAH 43:18-19

Walking into new seasons like…- A journal entry

I am still in New Orleans (but have talked about Colorado to anyone breathing for the last 3 years).  Waiting.  But, I am content (I almost didn’t get on the plane coming home and when I got home said ‘this isn’t home’ and my dad looked around the house and just looked at me…) and have learned patience because I have learned who my God is (I’m half failing this patience test…just kidding God…I learned my lessons the first 5 years…).  I have several desires and God knows my desire to move to Colorado.  If I am led to live there then I will be there in His time and His way.  Until then… I’m still below sea level and can’t wait to visit (asap…as in a few weeks). 🙂

I am so excited that new seasons are here.  What I have waited for has arrived.  They are not tangible yet, but it’s like you can taste it.  All the agonizing over “what’s next”… all the “why isn’t anything happening”… all of the learning to “be still and knowing He is God”… all the dead ends… all are worth it because my God is still God.  He had to change my heart first to make me the person ready to receive them.

“NOT THAT I SPEAK IN RESPECT OF WANT: FOR I HAVE LEARNED, IN WHATSOEVER STATE I AM, THEREWITH TO BE CONTENT.  I KNOW BOTH HOW TO BE ABASED, AND I KNOW HOW TO ABOUND: EVERY WHERE AND IN ALL THINGS I AM INSTRUCTED BOTH TO BE FULL AND TO BE HUNGRY, BOTH TO ABOUND AND TO SUFFER NEED.  I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENETH ME.” – PHILIPPIANS 4:11-13