His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

His grace is sufficient for me..

Since I was a little girl, I prayed for my future husband. Not just any husband, though. There would only ever be one person for me, and God would protect my heart and save it all for who he had as my puzzle piece.

“HAST THOU NOT KNOWN? HAST THOU NOT HEARD, THAT THE EVERLASTING GOD, THE LORD, THE CREATOR OF THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, FAINTETH NOT, NEITHER IS WEARY? THERE IS NO SEARCHING OF HIS UNDERSTANDING.
HE GIVETH POWER TO THE FAINT; AND TO THEM THAT HAVE NO MIGHT HE INCREASETH STRENGTH. EVEN THE YOUTHS SHALL FAINT AND BE WEARY, AND THE YOUNG MEN SHALL UTTERLY FALL: BUT THEY THAT WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH; THEY SHALL MOUNT UP WITH WINGS AS EAGLES; THEY SHALL RUN, AND NOT BE WEARY; AND THEY SHALL WALK, AND NOT FAINT.”
– ISAIAH 40:28-31

I’ve also prayed for God to use me. Since being saved in 2014, I no longer live, but Christ who lives in me. I’m a vessel being shaped and refined into His image, willing to be equipped to do His will in my life.

The best prayer I ever prayed was for God to make me a wife because He made me Christ’s bride.

A while back, I realized that those two prayers would be combined. My honest inner response was, “Please, no. I don’t want to be an example of singleness. I want to live my life.” I started realizing EVERYONE knew I was single, and EVERYONE knew I was a Christian. And EVERYONE knew I was waiting on God. Hint: That doesn’t become a popular lifestyle.

What if being single wasn’t a disease?

I never thought that my prayer would be what God would use to teach me so much about His word because it was the one thing He knew would get my attention. Why grant my desire if I would get what I wished for and left? Where would my need be? It’s in the waiting we learn to trust Him. He gives us our desires because our desire should be Him. Our longing is Him. That “void” or empty feeling is what He can only fill. He is EVERYTHING. He is LIFE. He is the beginning and the end. There will always be something missing without Him because He is the living water… the Bread of life. The only thing we should want. When we die we will not be taking anything with us.

When God shows you how to wait for your Boaz…

“LAY NOT UP FOR YOURSELVES TREASURES UPON EARTH, WHERE MOTH AND RUST DOTH CORRUPT, AND WHERE THIEVES BREAK THROUGH AND STEAL: 20BUT LAY UP FOR YOURSELVES TREASURES IN HEAVEN, WHERE NEITHER MOTH NOR RUST DOTH CORRUPT, AND WHERE THIEVES DO NOT BREAK THROUGH NOR STEAL: 21FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE WILL YOUR HEART BE ALSO.” – MATTHEW 6:19-21

“BUT WE HAVE THIS TREASURE IN EARTHEN VESSELS, THAT THE EXCELLENCY OF THE POWER MAY BE OF GOD, AND NOT OF US.” – 2 CORINTHIANS 4:7

He is our treasure.  I don’t remember where I heard it, but remember the quote, “If you want Jesus because of the things He can give you then you don’t want Jesus.  You want things.”

“HOPE DEFERRED MAKETH THE HEART SICK: BUT WHEN THE DESIRE COMETH, IT IS A TREE OF LIFE.” – PROVERBS 13:12

I didn’t want to be an example.  I didn’t want to be interested in a guy who was “perfect for me”, and have to let them go because they were unbelievers.  From Atheists to the religious would be what God used to bring me through ALL the bible to teach me on those subjects.  I didn’t want to argue with people about what the bible actually said.  I didn’t want to be refined so much.  From being told my standards are too high and that I’ll never find someone to “you just think your husband will fall on your roof.  It doesn’t work that way.” to realizing “do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” meant the entire population.  It was like finding a needle in a haystack, but realizing letting go and letting God provide for me is where the miracle is.

I never knew my heart’s desired prayers would be what would draw me so close to Jesus.   He taught me what the bible ACTUALLY says about marriage and what the BIBLICAL qualifications are for a husband and a wife.  I wrote more on that here: Missing Bible Text: I’ve found the one “I’m looking to settle down” with.

And here: I have (almost) found the One my soul loves…

I had to give up what I wanted most because marriage had become an idol in my life.  He was going to teach me what it really was and that it was a reflection of my relationship with Him.  God cannot bless you if it is going to get in the way of you and Him.  When I realized God was potentially using the one thing I wanted most, I got so scared because I knew that would mean more waiting.  It means not knowing what is in store.  It means having absolutely no control and needing to surrender your dreams to give it over to the One whose plans are best.  It means, “Not my will, but Yours be done”.  How can you be scared of the plans God has?  He loves to surprise His children and He always does in the most extraordinary ways.  That means letting go of your dreams and enjoying the ride because life with Jesus is the best adventure you could ever go on.  You never know what is around the corner, but it is always THE BEST and better than you could have imagined for yourself.

You could make your own plan, but God never gives us what we want.  He gives us what we need like getting to spend time with your buddy with Down’s Syndrome.  “Jesus gave me a Brent” Faithful is He that calleth you that also will do it…  My heart has been changed in this season.  First, God delivered me from bitterness and then restored it in the best way possible by spending time with someone who doesn’t worry and walks with a childlike faith.  In this season, I get to enjoy the fruits of what it means to be content and growing closer to my Heavenly Father.  Just me and Him.  For it is better to be single because you have more time to devote to the things of the Kingdom and not on taking care of your family.

A gifted season: Delight thyself in the Lord

I prayed for God to make me a wife, and what He did was make me His bride. He’s shaping me into His image and shedding ‘me’ bit by bit until all that will be left is Him. By only looking at what I didn’t have, I miss out on the wonderful and amazing life God has for me. I am so thankful for where I’m at, and all that God has provided for it is more than I’ll ever deserve. A job. A home. A family. Friends. HIM. He’s taught me so much in my butterfly garden’s answered prayer and how much I love it. You learn so much by having a garden: patience, trust, letting go, how to tend to something, and love it. You cannot force something to grow or bloom for “HE has made everything beautiful in its time.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11
“Bloom where you are planted.”

He has cast down my idols, and I am so free and content to be single now because I’m not alone. I have Him: the most perfect bridegroom. Whether or not I gain a husband in this life (notice I did not say find a husband for biblically it is the man who finds a wife … not she who chases after a husband), I know that I will be ok. You’ll never be happy if you’re looking for happiness in either the next thing or person. You have to be healed and whole on your own. The only way to do that is through Jesus Christ. I am so thankful He did not give me what I wanted most.

I do not know what is around the corner, but I know God’s plans and ways are always good. This isn’t the life I wanted or dreamed. It is far better.
He will supply my every need according to His riches in glory. (Philippians 4:19)

I will (not) show you my faith by my works…

When life is nothing like you planned and neither is Plan B…or C…

A Faith Failure: “Confess your sins one to another…”

Beginnings are always messy…

Isaiah 41… for the straying heart of a Child of God