As if my mind hasn’t been blown enough over a study I was doing about a month ago, last week, a family member and I discussed election as in do we have free will to choose God or not (does not refer to the American presidential election or politics).

Time out.

Weeks before the discussion, I had to stop the study I was doing beforehand because I was getting too overwhelmed. I decided to keep it simple by putting the study away for a while and going back to the scriptures themselves. God says not to be taught by a man, so I was comforted to know He will reveal what He wants me to learn at the appropriate time. All that to say in all my reading and confusion, when I randomly started reading Isaiah by itself, the scriptures made sense. I laughed.

The study is by 119 Ministries and the links are listed here:
‘The Lost Sheep‘

‘Nailed to the Cross‘

I started with “Nailed to the Cross,” and that study recommends doing “The Lost Sheep” teaching first to understand the previous. I can best describe the feeling of reading this as taking my mind out of my skull, realizing I do not know anything! It was as if God wrapped an anchor to my waist and dropped me in the middle of the ocean and said, “We are going deeper, so hold on tight!”

The study “Nailed to the Cross” discusses WHY Jesus was nailed to the cross and why He had to die. (By the way, I’ve always called Him Jesus, but the teaching and some close friends call Him Yeshua (Yah-shua: the God Who saves). I don’t know why I am not comfortable calling Him that yet, but I say, Jesus.) Back to the point of this post! “The Lost Sheep” teaching goes through the ‘divorce’ of Ephraim and Judah, and “Nailed to the Cross” explains why He had to die to ‘remarry’ us and what the bitter cup was He drank.

Having the desire to be married God has shown me biblical marriage, so I was already aware of a lot. This study did it in for me, connecting dots in places I never thought needed one. According to scripture a man cannot remarry his wife he is divorced from (cites Deuteronomy 24:1-4). According to scriptures a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives and cannot remarry if she is divorced or else she will commit adultery. (I could add to that, but it will take away from the point of this post. I do not believe the bible means to stay with an abusive, alcoholic husband and that you are bound to live in misery the rest of your life. 1 Corinthians 7. Carrying on…)
The cup Jesus drank from was fulfilling the ‘law of jealousy’ in Numbers Chapter 5. I included the shorter scripture but strongly encourage you to read the full passage on your own.

“And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.

28 And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.

29 This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled; 30 Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.

31 Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.” – Numbers 5:27-31

He had to die in order to remarry His bride. He had to die, so He could reunite us to Himself. He drank the bitter cup FOR HIS BRIDE, taking on the curse of the sin that separated us from Him. He was the perfect, spotless lamb who sacrificed Himself for our sins fulfilling the animal sacrifices and ordinances, making us enter in.

Isaiah 53 KJV

 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
² For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
³ He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
⁴ Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
⁷ He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
⁸ He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
⁹ And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
¹⁰ Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
¹¹ He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

My mind had been so blown, I mentioned ‘the cup’ to every Christian I know, repeating over and over, “BUT, THE CUP! THE CUP! DO YOU SEE?!?”.

Is it just me who didn’t understand any of this? Are you swimming in an ocean right now? Are you laying in the fetal position on the floor at this moment, unable to form coherent sentences?

Just me?

There’s NOTHING He left out. He has fulfilled EVERY SINGLE thing written from Genesis through the end of Revelation.

This post doesn’t answer any questions or form real thoughts or argue anything, but is an update on what I’ve been studying. As far as ‘election,’ I have trouble wrapping my head around that as well.

Were we “elected”? Do we have free will? Does the atheist have a choice to choose God or not? Were they predestined for Hell and just lost that lot in life? This topic was brought up to me a couple weeks ago and is a Calvinist belief and discussion that’s been around forever. I watched a teaching from John MacArthur and Sproul explaining it, as they are Calvinists, and the “parallel lines” of free will and election.

I can’t entirely agree with this view, although I haven’t thought about it enough to have an opinion. I do not want to dismiss it because IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO UNDERSTAND, but is way too heavy for me at this moment. I believe we HAVE free will. I HAD A CHOICE to give up my life to choose to follow Christ. I had to?! I’ve talked to enough atheists to know they’re prideful and blind. Why do we pray? What is the point of praying if it doesn’t matter in the long run? God’s will is going to happen so why preach the gospel or share with anyone?

The first scripture they always bring up is “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.”

One article I read mentioned them as nations and not the persons themselves. The lineage of God’s promise went through Isaac, and as it is written He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, with Jacob eventually becoming Israel. Esau was a different line, and God let him be Esau. I know. It’s a topic that can be discussed with bible verses thrown left and right until the end of time.

I eventually stated that I don’t care one way or another at this point in my walk. Usually, when God gives me something to study, my entire life is consumed by it. I am not there with ‘election’ right now, and honestly am thankful for it because my life flips upside down. All I know is I’ve been rescued and know WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, my life has changed. Nobody can ever ever ever ever convince me otherwise because that moment was the most real thing to ever happen to me. I was there. God yanked me out of the pit. He loves me more than I could ever begin to try and fathom. He wants me, knowing I could never do anything to earn it. He loves and wants me for a reason I could never understand or explain. He continually pursues me and wants me, and I’ll never be able to comprehend why.

I’m just thankful He does.

“And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.” – 1 Corinthians 2:1-2

On a whole different notepad in another galaxy I have also been reading John Grisham books. I printed a list of his books and have frequented thrift stores and taken advantage of ebay.

So far I have read:
The Testament
The Reckoning
The Rainmaker
King of Torts
The Firm

The movie ‘The Firm’ is a great film, but nothing like the book. 🙂

I just started reading ‘The Client’.

My life is filled with intensity and I don’t know how to live any other way.