As I was driving home, God blessed the broken road by Rascal Flatts came on the radio during the week. The significance of this is to be honest, the song makes me gag. To me, it is so cliche, and I just never liked it. Everyone has it as a wedding song or quotes it, and I never really paid much attention to it. Maybe it is my bitter heart? I’m not sure.

One of my students I pray a little extra for stitched another seam in my heart this particular day. I will keep this as vague as I can even though I’d LOVE to shout it all out. I asked Brent’s sister in law, who works in the school system, how I could stay in touch with him without staying in touch. She said, “You don’t. You love them while you have them and let them go.”

My heart.

I’m not sure of this student’s home life, and they are behind.

Anyway, this particular day as I was going over letters with him he asked why I was teasing him. I’ve only been at this job for two months and have serious imposter syndrome, but I looked at him and said, “I am your teacher. I care about you, and you need to know how to spell your name. You come to school to learn, and it is important that you learn your name. Don’t you come to school to learn?”

He nodded yes.

A little while later we went to his next class where I caught a glimpse he is opening up to us.

I sat at the table with him and a few other students watching them, and this student hit my arm with intensity to get my attention because he wanted to show me his work and that he did it right. I told him, “You need to say excuse me,” while my heart was exploding in a million pieces because he knew I would care, and he wanted to show me his work.

After dismissal and on my way home, ‘God Bless the Broken Road’ came on the radio. For some reason, I decided to listen to it. While I listened, all I could think of is my relationship with Christ and HEARD the words.

This time, I was snot crying, thinking, “YESSSSSS”.

My cousin, who is also a teacher, told me how amazing it is that your heart falls in love with a room full of students bringing out a capacity of love you didn’t know you had. It is so true, and it makes me cry. When I first got this job, a friend of mine told me, “I know you stress about having your own family, but God gave you a classroom of kids”.

For years, I’ve prayed for a husband and my own family, and for years God has been healing me. I wouldn’t have chosen this journey of brokenness and restoration for me, and that’s why God is God, and I am not. He always knows what is best for us. He gave me a Brent and his family, which is one of the greatest miracles for me of putting my heart back together, knowing the next step was having a classroom of children to love.

I do not look ahead at where I will go because I know God gave me this position and will lead me every step of the way. For now, I am living in the present, and it is so beautiful.

I listened to the song again when I got home, thinking I would love it and had a heart change to bring this post full circle. The spirit moved when the spirit moved for me to show me the words, and now I can move forward without hearing the song. ha!

“I set out on a narrow way many years ago hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But, I got lost a time or two. I wiped my brow and kept pushing through.
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to You

I think about the years I spent just passing through.
I’d like to have them back again and give them all to You.

But, You just smile and take my hand. You’ve been there, and You understand it’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true.

That every long lost dream led me to where You are.
Others who broke my heart, They were like northern stars pointing me on my way Into Your loving arms.
This much I know is true: That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to You.

Now I keep rolling on into Your loving arms.
This much I know is true: That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to You.”

I waited… and waited…losing faith… ‘and suddenly’. A car and a job: This is the life that God built!

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