It’s getting to the end of the school year.

Teachers are stressed and cramming all they can in the next few weeks and will begin cleaning out their classrooms. Students know the end is near and are already on vacation.

This week I dealt with my first student injury (he is ok).

Also, this week as a behavior incentive, I told my students that if they go home on “green” every day during the week that Friday, they get a prize.

I have no children, nor much experience with them. I’ve never worked in a daycare and, for a long time, avoided children as much as possible because, frankly, they scared me. While praying for my own future family, God has been working on my heart A LOT on that one, and I have learned that children need structure, discipline, and love. So, with that in mind, you can imagine most of my school day is thinking, “What the heck?!?” as I’ve only taken care of elderly, sick family members and had a customer service job where customers complained all day.

I mistakenly thought this incentive would be easy, especially for some. It turned into a social experiment where the candidates dropped like flies, and even the “good” ones who get green EVERY DAY of the month failed. I mean, it became comical because you sit back and wonder, “WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT???” I knew not all would make it, but I thought it would make them try. It did not. For some, all they had to do was behave and not punch anyone, and they could get candy at the end of the day. They failed.

After telling a friend about the clumsy and injured student, he asked, “Do you still want kids, or you good?”

My response was that teaching only makes you learn how to handle children, but I am currently extremely thankful I do not come home to any of my own. To everything there is a season, and I am thankful for my single one. I’m taking everything as a growth lesson with experience. I also watched Kindergarten Cop last night for the first time in years, and it was 11,000 times more hilarious now.

As I stare at the students and think, “WHAT?”, I also realized how God sees us. It was a lesson in law vs. grace and that, as Christians, we cannot save ourselves or earn our way to Heaven. We needed a Savior to redeem us and pay the price for our transgressions. There is not one thing we could do to earn God’s love for us because it is not our righteousness that He wants. He alone is righteous and perfect.  

But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. And there is none that calleth upon thy name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee: for thou hast hid thy face from us, and hast consumed us, because of our iniquities. But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”
– Isaiah 64:6-8

HE alone is the redeemer, and He alone makes us clean. We love Him because He first loved us.

I had a friend read this post before publishing. I couldn’t put my finger on the key element missing from the post, and she said to add, “People say, WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME?”
“Baby, because you’re doing it to yourself.”

He knocks at the door of our hearts for a season, giving us one chance after another, but we alone have the choice to choose Him or not. Every day, we had prize reminders for Friday. Monday through Thursday, a couple of my students had green, but their choices failed on Friday. They could be upset with me, but it was their own decision that led them to miss out on the prize. It rains on the just AND unjust, but sometimes it is our own choices that put us in bad situations. God calls and tries time and time again to correct us and go the right path, but He gives us a choice to follow His ways.

Because of our fallen nature, we never could be perfect nor keep his commandments. In the Old Testament, the Israelites had specific instructions for animal sacrifices to atone for the people’s sins. Reading and thinking about it makes you realize we will fail EVERY TIME because we could never keep it on our own. The pressure it holds to be “perfect” all the time makes you wonder why you should try at all.

God had a plan all along to send His son to die to be the perfect sacrifice ONCE for us.

“That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:7-10

As a new creature in Christ, it is ONLY by HIS GRACE we can overcome the devil’s schemes. He says if we love Him, we will keep His commandments because only a redeemed person COULD love Him and WANT to obey. Only by His Spirit can we be convicted and turn away from sin.

Every morning, I wake up at 5:00 to spend time with God, pray, listen to the bible, or listen to a sermon. However, I’ve noticed that my time with God is not the same as when I worked my other job and had a bit more time. I need more. I can tell my priorities are different. I don’t talk about my relationship with God ALL THE TIME anymore. I don’t talk as much, as part of it is the people I come in contact with now. At my other job, I would speak to customers, but they were adults. I work with children now and apply the scriptures and live them out to love like Him and teach with grace. Lately, my mind has been wandering, allowing thoughts to creep in. Because of previous experience, I knew I needed to cut that off NOW. FLEE FROM SIN. The only way we can do this is by crying out to Him and putting Him FIRST. It is only by His grace that we know we are falling and can say, “Jesus, help me!” It is only by His grace that we can keep ourselves under control.

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” – Psalm 73:26

On my own, I will fail EVERY TIME.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and because we are saved our minds are being transformed. Because of this our desires change into WANTING to please Him instead of our flesh.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” – Psalm 119:5

Most of my students did not get a prize this past Friday because they did not follow the law, but they get another chance next week because of grace. Children don’t have the spirit. They live in the flesh and can be irrationally disobedient because all they know is the flesh and they need to satisfy it. They are slaves to the flesh and fail to the law out of selfish gain. I love them all, and they are equally as sweet and loving as they are manipulative little humans looking for self preservation and self gratification. As a Christian, we are born again and are continuously made into His image. We are given His spirit and are able to live the fruits of the spirit. Unlike my students’ prizes at the end of the week, salvation cannot be earned with works, but only through faith.

Teaching isn’t for the faint of heart, but is extremely rewarding. Without experience, we can’t grow. I get a lot of hugs and learned to beatbox.

If I didn’t know that I knew (that I knew) without question God gave me this job, I honestly would doubt why I was in this job. And by His mercy, it is a new week for me, too.

Thanks for reading,
Aimee Elizabeth

I waited… and waited…losing faith… ‘and suddenly’. A car and a job: This is the life that God built!

Walking into new seasons like…- A journal entry