I’m not sure what part I am on in this evacuation story?


Hurricane Ida

Hurricane Ida: Adventures in evacuating. Pit stop in the woods and fraud alert

Ok… so going backward looks like we are on part 3. Since my last update less than forty-eight hours ago, we left my cousin’s house and are trying to move closer to home. Due to the Labor Day weekend and everyone evacuating, there is “no room at the inn” anywhere. I was getting rejected left and right as I was calling to book a room when I turned to prayer.

“God, please let us find a place to stay.”

Wouldn’t you know that on the Google Rolodex of booked local hotels, I called a La Quinta that also had no rooms available, but the kind lady transferred me to a place that did? Score! This place was right off the highway, cheaper than the others I found and surrounded by gas stations. All of this is an obvious red flag with Ted Bundy vibes, but beggars can’t be choosers.

I found us a place. With me are my dad and his sister, who are both kind and tolerating it.

I say this because the door frame is off the walls, the door doesn’t shut all the way, the keys didn’t work (so we do not leave the room), cabinets doors are hanging off the cabinet, there’s a hole in the ceiling, and the room does not have a phone.

Needless to say, this place has serious heroin vibes, and I am not optimistic that my family will ever trust me again. However, they are positive and keep saying, “You found us a room” as we hysterically laugh at every turn where we find something amiss.

Me: “Just asking, did you see the tub? I’m certain someone committed suicide in it.”

I refuse to shower here and hold out until we reach our next destination that only had availability starting Sunday. I spent last night calling hotels all along I-55 S.

We are currently still alive and pleading the blood of Jesus. We have a Walmart and a Waffle House nearby, so we do not lack civilization. Listen, I do not think I am a prude as I enjoy thrift stores and digging in people’s garbage to restore. I’ve stayed in hostels and cheap areas when traveling alone. However, I’ve changed over the years along with my heart and will to live. We all have our limits.

I clearly say all this in jest, know things could be so much worse, and keep reminding my family that we will have memories together. When I texted my uncle, who is evacuating in Houston visiting family, he asked if it was like the Tower of Terror Hotel my cousin Emily and I stayed in during our girls’ grand adventure a few years ago. I laughed and said it was way worse. My cousin was so traumatized as the hotel looked nothing like the pictures she saw, and the guy who worked in the office had a bellhop t-shirt on, and the place had wannabe decor from the 1920s while in an extremely questionable state. The water didn’t turn off in the shower, and the room started steaming up. My cousin said to turn the knob, and I responded that I wish I’d thought of that. We almost had to call maintenance. It was a great time filled with laughs we will never forget. Anyway, The Tower of Terror looks like the Ritz Carlton in comparison to the gem I found.

Stay tuned. We also do not have a coffee pot in our room, but thankfully I thought to buy instant coffee after seeing the state of the room before discovering that joy.

I spent the day browsing “Christian” merchandise on the internet and re-creating the phrases on Photoshop to purchase cheaper mugs. I’m not sure if that is just as sketchy as the place I am staying in, but we become products of our environments. 

This post is mostly because I have nothing else to do and am cracking up at the current absurdities of life. We walk by faith and not by sight, and Jesus hasn’t failed me yet.

In my last post, I mentioned I downloaded Hallmark movies instead of packing before evacuating because I chose denial? Well, I also rented Anatomy of a Murder starring Jimmy Stewart, but I think it’s too soon for that one.

Edit: As I was pulling up Grammarly to plug in this post, I jumped up and said, “What is that smell?”

My aunt, who is too laid back of a person: “It’s fine. Somebody’s probably cooking in their room.”

Me: “Just saying… in a place like this if you smell something and assume someone is cooking IN THEIR ROOM?!? it doesn’t usually end well.”

Until next time…
Here is my mug art: