I started this blog post on September 10, 2021. Being the hopeless romantic, I decided to take a shot in the dark, keep this in drafts, and write until it is a completed story, unsure of how long this could take. I also may delete it. It’s a 50/50 shot.

While composing this post, Louisiana is dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Ida. Currently evacuated and sitting in a hotel room with the Hallmark Channel, I published a post about finding a man who loves me like my father loved my mom. After hitting ‘publish’, I could not stop thinking about my future husband.

Though I genuinely was not worried one bit about my future at the time, the thoughts would not leave my mind: I work a lot and am an introvert who happens to be against online dating as much as one can be.

People have shared their opinions about my life and dating (or lack thereof) as long as I’ve been alive as if I was unaware of my situation, but I also knew God could present someone when and if He wanted to.

However, I was suddenly aware that the odds were stacked against me if I were to look at it from the world’s point of view. While conflicted about going against the grain and not going online, I also wanted to be open to possibilities. Admittedly, I am also pretty stubborn and wanted nothing to do with what the world does, so I refused to sign up online for principles’ sake because “the world” told me to do so. (As you can see, a lot was going on…) Still, the thoughts of “but how will it happen??” did not leave my mind, and it was a different feeling than before, filled with despair and anxiety. While browsing Facebook, an ad for a dating site popped up with all that said. I was simultaneously annoyed and freaked out at Facebook reading my thoughts, yet also intrigued. I was about to hide the ad when I stared at the “poster child’s” face and thought, “Why not?” I’ll just sign up as a joke with no pressure. Of course, I decided to take advantage of the sale (WHO CAN PASS UP A DEAL?!?) and potentially throw money down the toilet after debating back and forth with myself. I impulse purchased a six-month subscription.
“1-3 months is too little. A year is too long.”

I panic-called Emily to talk me out of it, but she didn’t answer, and now it was too late.

“SUBSCRIBE!”

She called back AFTER my purchase stating she was concerned about my mental health, knowing how anti-online dating I am. However, she added, “but it’s you, and you do random things.”

So, I did it. I signed up and wondered what I did. And then continued to wonder what I did.

I was not interested in talking or browsing through guys nor agreed with serial dating. I have prayed for my future husband since a little girl, and wasting time on a dating website was never the story I envisioned in my mind. I accepted that I potentially threw my money down the toilet and had no expectations whatsoever. This was not the plan because I wanted a loud biblical story where the person always miraculously showed up. I did not need to spend my time sifting through profiles of weirdos on the internet. Have you ever looked at the sites? It’s a scary place out there and one in which I had no interest.

I mean, I simply wanted a Hallmark movie and wondered if that was too much to ask for?? That reminds me of a scene from ‘Sleepless in Seattle’:

I also decided to live out the ‘Seinfeld George Costanza’ rule of opposites motto and be the complete opposite of who I am.

First, there was “Handles”, a gentleman with a handlebar mustache who I talked to first and eventually met. He was a true gentleman and a church-goer, but was not a Christian so that didn’t work. Next was a ‘Christian’ wounded divorcee who yelled at me about being judgmental and that he was a good guy when I asked if he would consider having bible studies. There was a tattoo artist I talked to on the phone who tried taking a scripture out of context and it did not go well for him. It was then I wondered if I was way too intense for anyone alive and truly meant to be single. Do I have to do correct everyone? Why can’t I help myself? The truth is the truth though and he was not speaking it.

This was the opposite of going well, but I was choosing to live outside of my comfort zone and ”putting myself out there” while simultaneously wanting to set myself on fire and questioning my entire life. This is all wrong and not what I imagined God’s plan would be.

On the website, there is a list of ”Likes” from people who are interested in you. One ‘like’ was a guy who stood out and I was not really sure why as he would not be considered “my type” or someone I would be drawn to. However, everyone who was ”my type” turned into a horrible idea and given my new life motto was choosing the “opposite”. Being short, I always imagined someone seven feet tall who could carry me on their shoulders and protect me from harm …with brown hair. The person I felt compelled to talk to had long blond hair, blue eyes, and stature would be described as ”the average height of a roman soldier”. Basically, he looked homeless. This led to me thinking he was either a serial killer or just really good at being himself and I was intrigued to find out.

i clicked his profile which was straight forward and to the point. He enjoys reading tax documents, making things, and interested in homesteading. I found he stuck out and was unlike everyone else I’d seen with no idea why. He was not flashy nor seemed to want attention. His profile was humbly honest as if he didn’t really want to be there and neither did I. There were no muscle flexes in a mirror and his photo was a simple headshot of a bearded man with blonde hair past his shoulders, wearing a gray t-shirt.
“He’s potentially homeless” and I felt compelled to talk to him. I always knew how to pick the good ones…

I ‘Liked’ him back. Days later he never messaged me and without being able to explain NEEDED to talk to him.

I did not know what to do so I called my friend Kalynn…
“There’s a guy on this site and I feel compelled to talk to him. He lives in Texas though.”
“Message him.”
“I can’t! I’m not messaging anyone first. If he wants to talk to me he can message me!”
“He liked you. He’s interested.”
“I can’t! What do I say??”
“I see you live in Texas. I thought your profile looked interesting and I wanted to say hi.”
Since I could not remember my name at the time I used to her template word for word. I hit send and thought, “If someone sent that to me I would delete it.” I had to wait it out. I couldn’t be a psychopath and serial message someone I didn’t know about not being crazy.

Me to me: “He’s not interested.”

On September 28, 2021… three days later he responded.

We messaged back and forth a few times when he asked about the following statement on my profile, “Don’t ask me about my five year plan. God’s plan is better.” It was the perfect opportunity to share my faith and test how this person reacted.

Not only did he understand what I was saying, but had God stories of his own which was extremely rare. When someone asks me about God I cannot shut my mouth and in return asked for a God story from his life. He was hesitant to share at first as all God stories have winding roads that only a believer who has ears to hear could understand. Again, not only did he have a true God story that only God could create, but he was completely shocked I understood it with no explanation. We talked more and the more we talked the more I wanted to which was strange as I tend to lose interest fast. People can only “fake” things for so long before things get to surface level and mundane. It was so refreshing because we had real conversations that went everywhere. We were playing mental ping pong and I enjoyed every second of it as it’s unusual to meet someone who can keep up with the constant train derailments of my mind. We were only talking a few days and I knew I did not want to stop talking to this guy. He seemed genuine, honest, and had God stories, but I was not sure if he was simply being polite. I wanted to see where he stood so I did something absolutely insane and on October 23rd sent him my phone number. I explained that I understood how personal and soon it was and that I didn’t expect him to use it, but a few minutes later received a text from an unknown number stating it was Ryan from Match (and he has been trying to reach me about my car’s extended warranty… 😛 ).

He came in town for the first time on December 17, 2021. It was the first time we met in person and I was never nervous. This was the man I’d prayed for and I was meeting my friend. In January, we met halfway in Beaumont where he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was adamant before going about staying in separate hotels and when mine turned into a Bates Motel situation, this gentleman paid for an extra room in the hotel he was staying in.

We were able to visit every month with plans of meeting his family in July…
I found a man who loves me like my father loved my mom… Part 2