Besides the major world disaster there’s a personal problem I’m dealing with.

I thought God said I would see a miracle.  He’s taken my mom… my grandma … and one of the greatest witnesses in my life for Christ is on his way out the door.  It wouldn’t and shouldn’t be bad or sad knowing where he is spending eternity, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.    We all prayed. We all believed.  A healing would take place.  we didn’t think things could go lower and the bar would drop… “ok now this is it … God is going to heal him now.”

But He didn’t.

not yet.  It’s currently where the Israelites meet the Red Sea.  There is no where else to go.  It’s a split sea or its death.  There’s no time for anything else.

I won’t lie and pretend I’m ok with this.  I’m not going to sit here and pretend I am excited about God’s will that it could be the outcome we weren’t thinking of.

I am sad. I am angry. I went for a walk which turned into running … it started off mad at God and then ended with “where else would I go?”.  It started with “I’m not praying anymore” and ended with “I’m so sorry, God.”  What started with “I believe you said I would see a miracle” Ended with “Help my unbelief”.

the following are the words and promises of my Creator.  They are not mine, but words that have gotten me through and shown the faithfulness of the One who rescues me ever since the day He said “you are Mine”.

that devil came to steal my joy… he came to make me doubt and make me angry and make me sad.  He came, but he could not stay.  I know who my God is.  The maker of heaven and earth.

 

43 But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. – Isaiah 43

18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.- Isaiah 43

7Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

8For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

9For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

11So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

12For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.- Isaiah 55

64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.

65 And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.

66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.

67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?

68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. – John 6

25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.- John 6