As an update to last week’s post, “Nothing can steal our joy…” the next day a very precious, close family friend and brother in Christ died.  Today’s post is the combination of a week’s worth of questions and searching for answers.

The last few years I’ve wanted sunflowers in my garden.

I planned a set up I would do this year and was going to buy the plants when after talking to a coworker (randomly) about gardening she told me a bird had dropped seeds she was sure were sunflowers and she would give me 3!  God gave me sunflowers.  I hurried (that night in the rain) and planted the baby plants.

She inspired me as I also have bird feeders and decided since the birds were not eating the seeds I would plant them.  I have sunflowers growing on accident (from dropped bird seed) and I have them growing on purpose in several pots.

I’ve always said God uses my garden to teach me things.

Almost one week ago today I lost someone very precious to me.  We prayed for healing, but that was not God’s will for him.  I’ve spent a week asking all the questions and struggling with all kinds of things.

“FOR I AM NOW READY TO BE OFFERED, AND THE TIME OF MY DEPARTURE IS AT HAND. I HAVE FOUGHT A GOOD FIGHT, I HAVE FINISHED MY COURSE, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH: HENCEFORTH THERE IS LAID UP FOR ME A CROWN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, WHICH THE LORD, THE RIGHTEOUS JUDGE, SHALL GIVE ME AT THAT DAY: AND NOT TO ME ONLY, BUT UNTO ALL THEM ALSO THAT LOVE HIS APPEARING. DO THY DILIGENCE TO COME SHORTLY UNTO ME…” – 2 TIMOTHY 4:6-9

This man wasn’t just any ordinary person.  He was the greatest witness for Christ I’ll probably ever know the rest of my life.  I’ve known him since I was 6 years old and I’ve been wondering why his death hit me the hardest.  I’ve experienced losses before, but I realized this man was always there through the others.  He was there through every trial and every life event.  He was the most blunt, zealous, speaker of God’s truth I’ve ever met.  He would study the Bible for the hours and had this personal relationship with God as if he audibly heard Him on a mountain like Moses.

He would always say, “There are no great men of God, but men who serve a great God.”  He would probably rebuke me for this post at all.  I do not wish to lift him up, I am only writing what a great witness he was to me and how much God has used him in my life.  I understand while he is gone my God will never leave nor forsake me.  He did not wake up with the knowledge he had.  He ran to his Father during trying times and circumstances and learned what God said.  The same is with all of us.  We can choose to run to our Father or sit around and wonder why.

When the scriptures talk about losing your life for Christ’s sake, he did.  He stood up for the truth no matter the cost because “blessed are you when you are persecuted for My sake”.

He loved the Lord more than anyone I’ve ever met and he never wavered.  Not once.  He lost everything for righteousness sake.

“BUT WHAT THINGS WERE GAIN TO ME, THOSE I COUNTED LOSS FOR CHRIST. YEA DOUBTLESS, AND I COUNT ALL THINGS BUT LOSS FOR THE EXCELLENCY OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST JESUS MY LORD: FOR WHOM I HAVE SUFFERED THE LOSS OF ALL THINGS, AND DO COUNT THEM BUT DUNG, THAT I MAY WIN CHRIST, AND BE FOUND IN HIM, NOT HAVING MINE OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS, WHICH IS OF THE LAW, BUT THAT WHICH IS THROUGH THE FAITH OF CHRIST, THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS OF GOD BY FAITH: THAT I MAY KNOW HIM, AND THE POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION, AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF HIS SUFFERINGS, BEING MADE CONFORMABLE UNTO HIS DEATH; IF BY ANY MEANS I MIGHT ATTAIN UNTO THE RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD.

NOT AS THOUGH I HAD ALREADY ATTAINED, EITHER WERE ALREADY PERFECT: BUT I FOLLOW AFTER, IF THAT I MAY APPREHEND THAT FOR WHICH ALSO I AM APPREHENDED OF CHRIST JESUS. BRETHREN, I COUNT NOT MYSELF TO HAVE APPREHENDED: BUT THIS ONE THING I DO, FORGETTING THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE BEHIND, AND REACHING FORTH UNTO THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE BEFORE, I PRESS TOWARD THE MARK FOR THE PRIZE OF THE HIGH CALLING OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS.

LET US THEREFORE, AS MANY AS BE PERFECT, BE THUS MINDED: AND IF IN ANY THING YE BE OTHERWISE MINDED, GOD SHALL REVEAL EVEN THIS UNTO YOU. – PHILIPPIANS 3:7-15

When you thought he couldn’t lose anything else he lost his health.  He said this illness was a trial, but he never once doubted God.  He always knew this was between he and Him.  And if he wasn’t healed here what did it matter because nothing compared to eternity in His presence.

What an incredible testament for me!

“ELECT ACCORDING TO THE FOREKNOWLEDGE OF GOD THE FATHER, THROUGH SANCTIFICATION OF THE SPIRIT, UNTO OBEDIENCE AND SPRINKLING OF THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST: GRACE UNTO YOU, AND PEACE, BE MULTIPLIED.

BLESSED BE THE GOD AND FATHER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, WHICH ACCORDING TO HIS ABUNDANT MERCY HATH BEGOTTEN US AGAIN UNTO A LIVELY HOPE BY THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST FROM THE DEAD, TO AN INHERITANCE INCORRUPTIBLE, AND UNDEFILED, AND THAT FADETH NOT AWAY, RESERVED IN HEAVEN FOR YOU, WHO ARE KEPT BY THE POWER OF GOD THROUGH FAITH UNTO SALVATION READY TO BE REVEALED IN THE LAST TIME.

WHEREIN YE GREATLY REJOICE, THOUGH NOW FOR A SEASON, IF NEED BE, YE ARE IN HEAVINESS THROUGH MANIFOLD TEMPTATIONS: THAT THE TRIAL OF YOUR FAITH, BEING MUCH MORE PRECIOUS THAN OF GOLD THAT PERISHETH, THOUGH IT BE TRIED WITH FIRE, MIGHT BE FOUND UNTO PRAISE AND HONOUR AND GLORY AT THE APPEARING OF JESUS CHRIST: WHOM HAVING NOT SEEN, YE LOVE; IN WHOM, THOUGH NOW YE SEE HIM NOT, YET BELIEVING, YE REJOICE WITH JOY UNSPEAKABLE AND FULL OF GLORY: RECEIVING THE END OF YOUR FAITH, EVEN THE SALVATION OF YOUR SOULS.

OF WHICH SALVATION THE PROPHETS HAVE ENQUIRED AND SEARCHED DILIGENTLY, WHO PROPHESIED OF THE GRACE THAT SHOULD COME UNTO YOU: SEARCHING WHAT, OR WHAT MANNER OF TIME THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST WHICH WAS IN THEM DID SIGNIFY, WHEN IT TESTIFIED BEFOREHAND THE SUFFERINGS OF CHRIST, AND THE GLORY THAT SHOULD FOLLOW. UNTO WHOM IT WAS REVEALED, THAT NOT UNTO THEMSELVES, BUT UNTO US THEY DID MINISTER THE THINGS, WHICH ARE NOW REPORTED UNTO YOU BY THEM THAT HAVE PREACHED THE GOSPEL UNTO YOU WITH THE HOLY GHOST SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN; WHICH THINGS THE ANGELS DESIRE TO LOOK INTO.

WHEREFORE GIRD UP THE LOINS OF YOUR MIND, BE SOBER, AND HOPE TO THE END FOR THE GRACE THAT IS TO BE BROUGHT UNTO YOU AT THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST; AS OBEDIENT CHILDREN, NOT FASHIONING YOURSELVES ACCORDING TO THE FORMER LUSTS IN YOUR IGNORANCE: BUT AS HE WHICH HATH CALLED YOU IS HOLY, SO BE YE HOLY IN ALL MANNER OF CONVERSATION; BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN, BE YE HOLY; FOR I AM HOLY.” – 1 PETER 1:2-16

You see, we prayed for healing.  We prayed for a miracle.  We believed and said all the things and spoke all the words and believed our God is who He says He is.  This man has seen miracles in live action.  He had more zeal than anyone I’ve ever known and knew God’s word back and front.  I could go on and on, so his healing was a no brainer… to me.  I never considered he would not be physically healed.  He’d always been in my life and I believed God put him there, so why wouldn’t he continue?

The first couple of days I will be honest and was completely shaken.

I could ask all the questions and cry all the tears, but it doesn’t change God’s will.  It doesn’t change who God is.  He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

“FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS, NOR ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS,” SAYS THE LORD. FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS, AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS.” – ISAIAH 55:8-9

We are only sojourners in this life.  We are only here for a season.  What more could we want than heaven?  I would never want him to come back here knowing the peace and glory he is experiencing now.  I cannot stop trying to imagine the first moment of meeting his creator and the absolute unexplainable joy.  He is where he always longed to be: in his Father’s arms.  He only spoke about crawling in his Father’s lap.  He always longed to be with his Father.  He is where he ached to be.  He did not belong in this world for His Kingdom is not of this world.

I will miss him here, but he is the one living his best life now.  One day we will be reunited dancing and rejoicing on the streets of gold with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords for eternity.

How does this tie into sunflowers?  

I’ve prayed about how to write this and if it makes any type of sense then praise God.

It takes one to plant, one to water, but God makes the increase, right?

To everything there is a season in life.  We are born, we live, and we die.  That’s a fact of life.  Nobody can escape a physical death.

When Sunflowers seeds are planted they take what feels the longest time to grow.  You wait… and you wait … and you wait for them to get taller, wait more time just to get a bud.  You wait a little longer for that bud to open up.  When it finally opens up it is so exciting, and while that beautiful flower will only last maybe a week, you cherish every second you get.

“THE VOICE SAID, CRY. AND HE SAID, WHAT SHALL I CRY? ALL FLESH IS GRASS, AND ALL THE GOODLINESS THEREOF IS AS THE FLOWER OF THE FIELD:  THE GRASS WITHERETH, THE FLOWER FADETH: BECAUSE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD BLOWETH UPON IT: SURELY THE PEOPLE IS GRASS.  THE GRASS WITHERETH, THE FLOWER FADETH: BUT THE WORD OF OUR GOD SHALL STAND FOR EVER…” – ISAIAH 54:6-8

The whole time sunflowers are growing they face the sun.  No matter where you put them the flower looks and grows toward the sun.  Even when it’s starting to fade and the petals start wilting away it stands firm facing the sun.

As Christians we are to do the same thing.  We face the Son.  We are only on this earth for a short time , but during that time we are to live our lives facing The Son.  We are to live our lives proclaiming His word and preaching hope and letting our light shine.

“LET YOUR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE MEN, THAT THEY MAY SEE YOUR GOOD WORKS, AND GLORIFY YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN.” – MATTHEW 5:16

This life isn’t about us.  It’s all about Him.  It’s all about Jesus.  We are to glorify his name at all times.  That is our job as a Christian.  While I could dig a well with the questions I have about why my friend was not healed it doesn’t change the fact this wasn’t His will for him.

I am just thankful to have had him in my life so long.

Last night, while talking to my dad, I suddenly needed to read Isaiah 53 as that’s where the scripture “by His stripes we are healed” is written and is always used in context of a physical healing.  When I read it God instantly showed me it was a spiritual healing.  Yes, I understand other people are healed and miracles happen every day, but in the context of this scripture He is talking about a spiritual healing:

“WHO HATH BELIEVED OUR REPORT? AND TO WHOM IS THE ARM OF THE LORD REVEALED? FOR HE SHALL GROW UP BEFORE HIM AS A TENDER PLANT, AND AS A ROOT OUT OF A DRY GROUND: HE HATH NO FORM NOR COMELINESS; AND WHEN WE SHALL SEE HIM, THERE IS NO BEAUTY THAT WE SHOULD DESIRE HIM.

HE IS DESPISED AND REJECTED OF MEN; A MAN OF SORROWS, AND ACQUAINTED WITH GRIEF: AND WE HID AS IT WERE OUR FACES FROM HIM; HE WAS DESPISED, AND WE ESTEEMED HIM NOT.  SURELY HE HATH BORNE OUR GRIEFS, AND CARRIED OUR SORROWS: YET WE DID ESTEEM HIM STRICKEN, SMITTEN OF GOD, AND AFFLICTED.

BUT HE WAS WOUNDED FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS, HE WAS BRUISED FOR OUR INIQUITIES: THE CHASTISEMENT OF OUR PEACE WAS UPON HIM; AND WITH HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED.

ALL WE LIKE SHEEP HAVE GONE ASTRAY; WE HAVE TURNED EVERY ONE TO HIS OWN WAY; AND THE LORD HATH LAID ON HIM THE INIQUITY OF US ALL.” – ISAIAH 53:1-6

Jesus was his legacy.

One of his favorite movies was “The Ultimate Gift” so here is a song I’ll leave here:

“Legacy” by Ed Goggin YouTube Link

“If I had a Legacy there’s something I’d like for it to be
If I was a Billionaire I’ll give it all to charity

But if I had a heart of gold
Well never did I fear
I hold on to my dreams
I have a Legacy

If I had a legacy there’s something I’d like for it to be
I’d give every living soul a piece of the gift you gave to me

Shadows are far too hard to climb 
You taught me to step into the light
If I could help someone like me this would be my legacy

Dreams are the sail that moves the soul to be much more than we will ever know

If you had a Legacy what would you like for it to be
What will your loved ones say?
How will you help them find their way?

What are the gifts you’ll leave behind
the treasures that they’ll find
It’s right inside your dreams…
It’s your Legacy

And it’s right inside your dreams
It’s a gift you gave to me”